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Daughter on opiods
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 707041" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. I agree.</p><p></p><p>For me, it is not just the objective difficulties with my son, and the problems that seem to come my way. It is the age itself: being old. I always had problems and challenges, but it seems my ability to tackle them, or my hope that the good thing will happen, is diminished. My stamina and tolerance are diminished.</p><p></p><p>I know that depression is quite common in the elderly. I never felt elderly before. I felt young! And then, all at once, the problems became way worse, (with the death of my own mother), and I felt old. Which more and more I believe is a state of mind.</p><p></p><p>That I can change.</p><p></p><p>I have begun to walk again. I am only at day 3 in a row, but this one thing has helped me feel more hopeful. I look forward to it. My initial goals was to walk enough to lose weight, hopefully, building up to 2 hours a day. That will be 2 hours a day that I will feel better, because when I walk I cannot feel sad.</p><p></p><p>There is a book called <u>Walking the blues away</u> by Thom Hartman, that posits that walking, running is an age old mechanism to deal with trauma. He talks about the physiological process that underlies this phenomena.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I believe that this is the fundamental issue that brings all of us here to CD. The resistance, reluctance, inability, failure of our children to thrive. And how we come to grips with this, so that we can live again.</p><p></p><p>Reading different threads you will see that this is the case. I can think of not one person who posts here about their child, who does not suffer in the main from this one thing.</p><p></p><p>While we may seek to respond to one different problem after another, the underlying problem is the same: My child is in danger or suffering and I am unable to help him/her and I am going down, too. I feel it is my fault. I feel it is my responsibility. Etcetera.</p><p></p><p>The answer is always the same: The realization that our children are living lives that are distinct from our own. While they were children we felt it to be the same life, theirs and ours. When they become adults, a separation must be made in our own minds: called detachment. And this is what we struggle with when we come here. And keep struggling.</p><p></p><p>Detachment for me does not mean that I detach physically from my son, not speak with him, live close to him, support him--but that I detach from the sense that my own life and his are inexorably linked, in terms of feelings, responsibility, control.</p><p></p><p>It is a struggle and it is hard.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to remember that life is not meant to be happy, not for me, or anybody else. Life at its best is productive and meaningful. The operative words, at its best. Every person has to find their own way. Because each person is different. Each journey is different. Your daughter's journey is her own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 707041, member: 18958"] Yes. I agree. For me, it is not just the objective difficulties with my son, and the problems that seem to come my way. It is the age itself: being old. I always had problems and challenges, but it seems my ability to tackle them, or my hope that the good thing will happen, is diminished. My stamina and tolerance are diminished. I know that depression is quite common in the elderly. I never felt elderly before. I felt young! And then, all at once, the problems became way worse, (with the death of my own mother), and I felt old. Which more and more I believe is a state of mind. That I can change. I have begun to walk again. I am only at day 3 in a row, but this one thing has helped me feel more hopeful. I look forward to it. My initial goals was to walk enough to lose weight, hopefully, building up to 2 hours a day. That will be 2 hours a day that I will feel better, because when I walk I cannot feel sad. There is a book called [U]Walking the blues away[/U] by Thom Hartman, that posits that walking, running is an age old mechanism to deal with trauma. He talks about the physiological process that underlies this phenomena. I believe that this is the fundamental issue that brings all of us here to CD. The resistance, reluctance, inability, failure of our children to thrive. And how we come to grips with this, so that we can live again. Reading different threads you will see that this is the case. I can think of not one person who posts here about their child, who does not suffer in the main from this one thing. While we may seek to respond to one different problem after another, the underlying problem is the same: My child is in danger or suffering and I am unable to help him/her and I am going down, too. I feel it is my fault. I feel it is my responsibility. Etcetera. The answer is always the same: The realization that our children are living lives that are distinct from our own. While they were children we felt it to be the same life, theirs and ours. When they become adults, a separation must be made in our own minds: called detachment. And this is what we struggle with when we come here. And keep struggling. Detachment for me does not mean that I detach physically from my son, not speak with him, live close to him, support him--but that I detach from the sense that my own life and his are inexorably linked, in terms of feelings, responsibility, control. It is a struggle and it is hard. It helps me to remember that life is not meant to be happy, not for me, or anybody else. Life at its best is productive and meaningful. The operative words, at its best. Every person has to find their own way. Because each person is different. Each journey is different. Your daughter's journey is her own. [/QUOTE]
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