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Daughter reached out- I responded-Having hard time
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 750987" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>[These are not where they live but the crime is scary. Even scarier, Lee and Kay are not afraid! Me, living in.upper middle class suburbia in the next state over feels guilty, like we should live there too. Make sense?] </p><p></p><p>It makes total sense. My husband and I decided to downsize in our home state and get a second home in our retirement. We now have as much family (on both sides) in AZ as we do in MO. And, it is better for my health. I sometimes think we should have stayed in the house we lived in for 25 years. That maybe if I was closer to May things would be different. (I guess in a way I actually did that. When we decided AZ, May was living there and that did affect our decision.) But, in reality that is ridiculous thinking. May moved away in her early 20s and never had any intentions of living in MO again. </p><p></p><p>[My biggest fear is that the two of them will become homeless and grab Jaden and run off far away, to maybe California, and live in a car and not tell us. ]</p><p></p><p>May was not able to conceive. I was with her at the gyn who told her if she would gain some weight that would probably change. In the end, it has been a blessing. I cannot imagine the pain of knowing my grandchild was in jeopardy and there was nothing I could do. I am sorry. The only thing I can say is that I am learning to fight off thoughts of "what if". My internal dialogue is changing. When I think "what if", I ask myself, "Don't you have enough to deal with in the here and now?" It really is wasted energy, but I understand, totally. </p><p></p><p>[Meanwhile we are going to Al Anon and therapy and were doing well until Kay's friend called us to berate us. We are recovering from that guilt trip.]</p><p></p><p>Like aunt S, they don't know $#%! The friend, like aunt S are only getting one side of the story, the delusional one. As for the MMJ, I don't knock it. I have seen it work in some. That said, it can also exacerbate delusions. Gratefully, that has not been an issue with May, it is prescription adderall, which she abuses (I]</p><p></p><p>This is great news. Yes, we do share unknown things. We have been camping our entire lives. Something that drew us to each other. We started in a tent. We just returned from our annual respite. I call it marriage therapy in God's country. Our entire married life we have taken an annual camping trip to the CO Rockies. Started out as a long weekend and now we are there for 5 weeks. Thing now is we are in our 7th decade of life and discussions have started regarding how much longer we can do it. I said 3 years ago, until. We are still on until by the grace of God.</p><p></p><p>Therapy helps me too. </p><p></p><p>Many blessings. </p><p></p><p>[We also plan to travel in our camper with our precious dogs. have seen it) and alcohol. I believe both have completely altered May's brain circuits because of the long term abuse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 750987, member: 23811"] [These are not where they live but the crime is scary. Even scarier, Lee and Kay are not afraid! Me, living in.upper middle class suburbia in the next state over feels guilty, like we should live there too. Make sense?] It makes total sense. My husband and I decided to downsize in our home state and get a second home in our retirement. We now have as much family (on both sides) in AZ as we do in MO. And, it is better for my health. I sometimes think we should have stayed in the house we lived in for 25 years. That maybe if I was closer to May things would be different. (I guess in a way I actually did that. When we decided AZ, May was living there and that did affect our decision.) But, in reality that is ridiculous thinking. May moved away in her early 20s and never had any intentions of living in MO again. [My biggest fear is that the two of them will become homeless and grab Jaden and run off far away, to maybe California, and live in a car and not tell us. ] May was not able to conceive. I was with her at the gyn who told her if she would gain some weight that would probably change. In the end, it has been a blessing. I cannot imagine the pain of knowing my grandchild was in jeopardy and there was nothing I could do. I am sorry. The only thing I can say is that I am learning to fight off thoughts of "what if". My internal dialogue is changing. When I think "what if", I ask myself, "Don't you have enough to deal with in the here and now?" It really is wasted energy, but I understand, totally. [Meanwhile we are going to Al Anon and therapy and were doing well until Kay's friend called us to berate us. We are recovering from that guilt trip.] Like aunt S, they don't know $#%! The friend, like aunt S are only getting one side of the story, the delusional one. As for the MMJ, I don't knock it. I have seen it work in some. That said, it can also exacerbate delusions. Gratefully, that has not been an issue with May, it is prescription adderall, which she abuses (I] This is great news. Yes, we do share unknown things. We have been camping our entire lives. Something that drew us to each other. We started in a tent. We just returned from our annual respite. I call it marriage therapy in God's country. Our entire married life we have taken an annual camping trip to the CO Rockies. Started out as a long weekend and now we are there for 5 weeks. Thing now is we are in our 7th decade of life and discussions have started regarding how much longer we can do it. I said 3 years ago, until. We are still on until by the grace of God. Therapy helps me too. Many blessings. [We also plan to travel in our camper with our precious dogs. have seen it) and alcohol. I believe both have completely altered May's brain circuits because of the long term abuse. [/QUOTE]
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