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Daughter woke up in hotel room... no clue how she got there.
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<blockquote data-quote="troubled" data-source="post: 407938"><p>(((HUGS))) to you! I am finding out first hand how hard it is to detach. I beat myself up for feeling like I am supposed to care about my child unconditionally. Isn't that the definition of a good mother? How can it be love to say no when your child is in trouble and needs you -- but that is the catch here -- they don't need us, they only want to use us to get something or somewhere and that old habit of entitlement creeps in their thinking that we owe it to them. My difficult child will throw out that old, tired statement, "I didn't ask to be born," and add to it, "and I don't feel like I should have to work, either and I have no interest in going to school." They will take whatever is given to them that's free and complain when they don't have a clean bed to sleep in or a warm bath whenever they want. </p><p></p><p>Detatching hurts like HELL! My Mom is hurting too. Our whole family is hurting, worried, on pins and needles, praying. All the while these difficult children are out there partying and making the best of things. Mine told her grandma that if she didn't give her a ride she might end up dead. Then she threw in "YOU DON'T LOVE ME, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT INSTEAD OF MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT HELPING ME!" That brought my mother almost to her knees. They sure know how to use their words to hurt you. They will rip your heart out in a second and think nothing of it. I keep recalling all the mean things my difficult child did and said to me and that often helps me to dry my tears, put my chin up and remember that I don't have to take that kind of abuse from her or anyone else - not anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="troubled, post: 407938"] (((HUGS))) to you! I am finding out first hand how hard it is to detach. I beat myself up for feeling like I am supposed to care about my child unconditionally. Isn't that the definition of a good mother? How can it be love to say no when your child is in trouble and needs you -- but that is the catch here -- they don't need us, they only want to use us to get something or somewhere and that old habit of entitlement creeps in their thinking that we owe it to them. My difficult child will throw out that old, tired statement, "I didn't ask to be born," and add to it, "and I don't feel like I should have to work, either and I have no interest in going to school." They will take whatever is given to them that's free and complain when they don't have a clean bed to sleep in or a warm bath whenever they want. Detatching hurts like HELL! My Mom is hurting too. Our whole family is hurting, worried, on pins and needles, praying. All the while these difficult children are out there partying and making the best of things. Mine told her grandma that if she didn't give her a ride she might end up dead. Then she threw in "YOU DON'T LOVE ME, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT INSTEAD OF MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT HELPING ME!" That brought my mother almost to her knees. They sure know how to use their words to hurt you. They will rip your heart out in a second and think nothing of it. I keep recalling all the mean things my difficult child did and said to me and that often helps me to dry my tears, put my chin up and remember that I don't have to take that kind of abuse from her or anyone else - not anymore. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter woke up in hotel room... no clue how she got there.
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