Day 2, Strike 2... He wants out... sort of.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Camp called at 12:30 today (I was already planning to pick him up at 1pm) and this time it was the director calling. difficult child 2 was doing some "inappropriate" things to kids in his fort, fighting with his sister and just not getting along with the other kids.

    I found out that some of things he did were just plain stupid things and he didn't know why he did it. And other things he got set up for and thought he was being funny when a kid encouraged him to do what he did to someone else... but THAT person didn't like it! And in hindsight, he said he wouldn't either. And against my wishes, his sister is in his fort group and she's one of the kids he was bugging today.

    He was clearly very sad about today when I picked him up and said he did not want to ever go back there again through his tears. I feel so bad for him. He wants so much to fit in and have fun but he just can't do it right now.

    I explained to the leader who had him when I arrived that he had a psychiatric appointment Thursday, but that might be too late for him as far as camp was concerned. The director had already said we could try again tomorrow, or ask for a refund, and this other gal said that perhaps after his psychiatrist appointment things might go better for him and he still had next week to possibly look forward to. I'm glad they realize he's not a "bad" kid and much of this is beyond his control. It's possible this environment is just not structured enough for what he needs right now. And yes, perhaps a medication adjustment will help. But whether it will help soon enough I have no way of knowing.

    It's just so sad to me because aside from our vacation, this was the one fun kid activity I'd planned for him this summer. He has no friends from school because of his behavior/social skills. He's not signed up for fall sports because of how badly things went last year. He's hoping to start at a new school in the fall to get a fresh beginning with his social skills.

    So he's going to think on it today and husband and I are thinking about it and I guess we'll decide tomorrow what to do. Part of him wants to go back to play in the water activities and work on the fort building, but part of him doesn't want to be around anybody for fear of sabotaging himself. "It's sort of complicated, Mom." Yes, it is indeed.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I wish you lived near us. Tigger needs a friend too. Hopefully psychiatrist can help.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet? breaks my heart to hear them realize the chaos they cause but be unable to control or fix it....poor guy.
  4. Awwwww. It's so hard for them when they can't help it. They really don't want to be that way either.

  5. gateship

    gateship New Member

    Aww it must be really hard on both of you! Him knowing that what he has done wasn't a good idea and being unable to form friendships but not knowing how to control the issue. And you having to see your baby go through all of those things...and having to deal with the stress that his actions create.
    Hugs and light to both of you!
  6. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry. I really feel for you and your son. There are so many cool summer camps in our area that I know my difficult child would love if he could keep it together behaviorally. Everything we try ends up a disaster.

    My son is also desperately in need of a friend. His lack of social skills makes him an out cast in our neighborhood.

    Good luck with your decision,
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry the camp isn't going well. I too wish you lived closer. Our difficult children are the same age and mine could use a friend as well.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear. I've got my fingers crossed. My wish is that he will want to go back this wk and "fit in," but I'm thinking it's too much for him, from what you've written.
    So sorry.
    Let us know what happens.