Day from Hell

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by thycamom63, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. thycamom63

    thycamom63 New Member

    School was out on Wed. and I work Sun.-Thurs. so my difficult child and I planned to spend the day together. By noon I was ready to go to work and work for free it was that bad and I don't even really like my job. difficult child woke up about 8am and was hyper to the max. Talking, singing, dancing, watching tv at a loud volume. Just basically rude. I thought well maybe I could salvage the day if I took him to IHOP as a special mom/son date. My mistake was I told him about it way too early so then it was "when are we going, I'm starving" for a couple of hours. We couldn't go until Fedex delivered his Christmas present. I knew they came areound 11 or 12 so I said we'd go after Fedex was here. Well he was excited in the car and we had none stop talking about whatever popped into his head. difficult child is 15, but is the height of about a 10 yr. old. We go to IHOP and of course, they want to give him a kids' menu and crayons. I said no he's a freshman in high school. When we were almost done with our meal he started acting manic. He started laughing like crazy for no reason and then would pick at his pancakes with his fingers. We hurried up and got out of there. This was my only day to get my husband's Christmas present as tomorrow we are supposed to have an ice/snow storm and I work on Sunday and Monday. husband doesn't get off work until 7pm so waiting until he gets home is not possible. difficult child seems ok at Walmart so we venture on to another store. He starts throwing a little ball in one store. The whole time talk, talk, talk. Acts very immature. We go home. Then I have to pick up my medicine and get a few groceries before the storm hits tomorrow. He is fine for most of the shopping but takes the cart and starts running down the aisle. Going out to the car he keeps running into me or making the cart stop. Then when I tell him to put the cart away he gives it a shove and it almost hits a parked car. Also through the store he's saying "hi" to everyone. Still will not stop talking. Behaviors keep building at home. He does things like eat with his fingers, flip the fork so potatoes go flying, tilts his plate so food goes on the floor. husband tells him to go to his room for a cool down for a few minutes. difficult child won't go, husband calmly tells him to go and then it escalates. husband walks difficult child to his room, but difficult child breaks free and goes running into our bedroom, throws himself on our bed. husband is getting ticked now pulls difficult child off our bed. difficult child starts screaming like he's being killed and yells "help, call the police". We live in an apartment so others can here him. Luckily no one lives above us right now. I just have a melt down and am crying uncontrollably. Somehow difficult child gets back out in the living room and husband is restraining him. He calmed down and stayed quietly in his room for awhile. I tried to talk to him when he was calm. All he keeps saying is Dad is mean, Dad hurt me, Dad restrained me. I tried to explain that if he would have gone to his room none of this would happen. All he does is blame everyone else and say he doesn't want to live in our family. We adopted him when he was 8. It's been almost 7 years now, but he still says he wants to live in another family whenever we try to hold him accountable.
    husband was just diagnosed with diabetes 10 days ago so we are trying to adjust to that. I have heart problems. This happens every Christmas season. I can't take much of this anymore. I know come February things will calm down. He is perfect in school. His teachers all talk about his wonderful behavior. Wish I could see some of that.
    Any suggestions on how to deal with this? He is on Lithium 300mg in am and 600 mg in pm, ablify 10mg in am and 15 mg in pm. I don't think these medications are working for him or is he just that much of a control freak.

  2. shaile

    shaile New Member


    Lots of hugs and hope things settle quickly for you all. Holidays are stressful enough anymore without such emotional episodes. Just feels like the life is literally being sucked from you each time, and no viable answers to any of it in sight.

    With his age though..maybe try next time he's acting up at the table to just reach over and remove his plate from him after being given a few verbal prompts to stop said behavior, and say that when he feels he's ready to eat using his manners you'll return the plate.

    Maybe try just telling him to leave the table, and dining area until he's ready to display more manners but not suggest or direct him to a specific place otherwise.

    Maybe try next time if he's acting up at meal times that you and your husband both up and leave the table if he does not comply after a few prompts, and tell him he has so many minutes to finish eating, and after that time you both will return to eat your meal and either he will stay and display manners or he will leave the dining area all together so that you both may enjoy your meal.

    The excessive talking alot..almost babbling from one non relavent to reality topic to another just drives me up the walls. Maybe try buying a relatively inexpensive walkman with headphones, and hand that to him when your nerves start to frazzle. Then you just have to pray he can sing somewhat on key..hehe.

    As far as the "help call the police stuff goes"..I'd of gone and got the phone for him. I refuse to play that game.

    Always alittle easier to offer some suggestions when the situation isn't your own nightmare but honestly more than hugs and prayer it subsides and calms soon is about the best can give.

    Good Luck to you

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. It sounds like a very difficult day. Hugs, Susie
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi there - phew, I'm just exhausted reading about your day. I think a call to the psychiatrist is in order ASAP. Definitely doesn't sound like control freak behavior, sounds like a kid who is pretty doggone manic. Impossible to reason, in my experience anyway, with a kid that wound up.

    I know it's hard when you have a kid you can't leave alone, but I think I would limit exposure to crowds and busy places as much as possible. Calm music, low volume, low lights at home. Sounds like you and husband have a good handle on how not to escalate a situation, but also know when it's passed the point of no return.

    Definitely I'd call psychiatrist.

    A gentle hug to you.