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Parent Emeritus
Dealing with difficult child's children, our grandchildren
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 626441" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Well, most of us here know my story. And I think that MWM's statement below is quite valid.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We talk a lot on PE about letting our adult children be their own person, and how difficult that can be. I think that the difficulty is a two way street. It's as difficult for us to "let them be" as it is for them to not "suck mom in". What's even worse is that with these ones, while <em>we</em> are busily struggling to get on with our lives, they are actively fighting to keep us a part of their problems. What a <em>great tool</em> for them a <em>baby</em> is in that fight. I think that the majority of them are Narcissistic and they can't tell the difference between their relationships with us and their children's relationships with us. Baby is just another thing like a needing a ride because they got a DUI, or need money because they lost their job again. Why would I be a part of that? I wouldn't give them a ride or money.</p><p></p><p>It may sound cold and harsh, or maybe it sounds chicken-livered, but <em>never again</em> for <em>this</em> lady. You watch a daughter who was used as a tool against you and has been cruel to you nearing 30 date five wealthy men she met on match.com at a time because she has decided that what she wants in life is "to be married and have a baby" and you <em>know</em> that it is nothing you want anything to do with. I'm sure it's difficult for most people to understand. That really doesn't matter. <em>I</em> understand it. Many of you understand it. We're a select group but at least we're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 626441, member: 99"] Well, most of us here know my story. And I think that MWM's statement below is quite valid. We talk a lot on PE about letting our adult children be their own person, and how difficult that can be. I think that the difficulty is a two way street. It's as difficult for us to "let them be" as it is for them to not "suck mom in". What's even worse is that with these ones, while [I]we[/I] are busily struggling to get on with our lives, they are actively fighting to keep us a part of their problems. What a [I]great tool[/I] for them a [I]baby[/I] is in that fight. I think that the majority of them are Narcissistic and they can't tell the difference between their relationships with us and their children's relationships with us. Baby is just another thing like a needing a ride because they got a DUI, or need money because they lost their job again. Why would I be a part of that? I wouldn't give them a ride or money. It may sound cold and harsh, or maybe it sounds chicken-livered, but [I]never again[/I] for [I]this[/I] lady. You watch a daughter who was used as a tool against you and has been cruel to you nearing 30 date five wealthy men she met on match.com at a time because she has decided that what she wants in life is "to be married and have a baby" and you [I]know[/I] that it is nothing you want anything to do with. I'm sure it's difficult for most people to understand. That really doesn't matter. [I]I[/I] understand it. Many of you understand it. We're a select group but at least we're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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Dealing with difficult child's children, our grandchildren
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