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Dealing with news of a suicide
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 641961" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so very sorry raylea. What a really sad place for you to be.</p><p></p><p>I don't believe you can judge yourself for the feelings you're having, suicide has a deep and profound impact on everyone who knew the person. It's a very difficult thing for us to accept. Many of us have sat on that edge pondering that choice, but most of us back off of it........it is hard to fathom a loved one making that choice. </p><p></p><p>My son in law committed suicide so I understand a lot of what you're feeling, it has a different response then a normal death because it is a choice someone makes, a choice the rest of us don't understand. I wrestled with my response to my son in laws death for a long time, I didn't know how to feel about it. Many folks were angry, many were devastated, my daughter among the devastated, so I know the impact, and yet, since I was not in his shoes at that moment, I cannot judge him for slipping off that edge.</p><p></p><p>The other part for you is telling your son the news and your worry about his reaction and the possibility he may someday make the same choice since he is so like the young man who died. That is a tough place to be. Do you have a therapist you might talk to about your feelings and how to proceed? Or a minister, or counselor? These are deep feelings which deserve to be expressed in a safe place where you can receive the guidance you require so that you can feel safe and cope with all the emotional responses suicide brings. After my son in law passed, I gathered up the children and my daughter and found professionals to help them. I found a suicide support group lead by a therapist that my daughter and I attended. It was very helpful to realize that all of my responses were quite normal. It was a place we could voice our feelings and listen to others who'd gone through the same experience. Getting some support for yourself will give you a better framework to hold this all in. It's a lot to take in.</p><p></p><p>Find some support for yourself as soon as possible. There are professionals who deal with suicide specifically who are very knowledgable and can assist you and your son. I am so sorry. This is a hard place to be. There is a lot of grief. I hope this young man can rest in peace now. I hope you can find peace as well. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your son..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 641961, member: 13542"] I am so very sorry raylea. What a really sad place for you to be. I don't believe you can judge yourself for the feelings you're having, suicide has a deep and profound impact on everyone who knew the person. It's a very difficult thing for us to accept. Many of us have sat on that edge pondering that choice, but most of us back off of it........it is hard to fathom a loved one making that choice. My son in law committed suicide so I understand a lot of what you're feeling, it has a different response then a normal death because it is a choice someone makes, a choice the rest of us don't understand. I wrestled with my response to my son in laws death for a long time, I didn't know how to feel about it. Many folks were angry, many were devastated, my daughter among the devastated, so I know the impact, and yet, since I was not in his shoes at that moment, I cannot judge him for slipping off that edge. The other part for you is telling your son the news and your worry about his reaction and the possibility he may someday make the same choice since he is so like the young man who died. That is a tough place to be. Do you have a therapist you might talk to about your feelings and how to proceed? Or a minister, or counselor? These are deep feelings which deserve to be expressed in a safe place where you can receive the guidance you require so that you can feel safe and cope with all the emotional responses suicide brings. After my son in law passed, I gathered up the children and my daughter and found professionals to help them. I found a suicide support group lead by a therapist that my daughter and I attended. It was very helpful to realize that all of my responses were quite normal. It was a place we could voice our feelings and listen to others who'd gone through the same experience. Getting some support for yourself will give you a better framework to hold this all in. It's a lot to take in. Find some support for yourself as soon as possible. There are professionals who deal with suicide specifically who are very knowledgable and can assist you and your son. I am so sorry. This is a hard place to be. There is a lot of grief. I hope this young man can rest in peace now. I hope you can find peace as well. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your son.......... [/QUOTE]
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