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Dealing with resentment?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 370223" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Nancy, that is my husband's fear. He thinks she simply can not make it on her own right now. I understand it is a true fear and concern for him. It is for me, too. I think I'm just able to look at the bigger picture that includes<em> the entire family's well being</em> and not just her needs. It may be "better" for her right now, but I do not see it as being best for the entire family.</p><p></p><p>The conversation has been opened regarding the struggle between The Husband and I, and I'm really letting him shoulder as much as possible right now so he can understand what I'm going through. In the evening if she's home and <em>we </em>can't take our regular walk together, then <em>I</em> go for a walk and let him stay here with her. We don't have the financial depth to do many of the suggestions that were given, but I am making note of them and will try and use them in other creative ways. I'm going to bookclub Saturday, and I'm letting him man the house. I just hope, sincerely, that he doesn't bend the rules while I'm gone (has happened before).</p><p></p><p>I do see our daughter really making some progress, but then it is overshadowed by these emotional outbursts. </p><p></p><p>One of our conditions is that she is out while my husband and I are at work. She can job hunt, she can hit meetings, volunteer, go to the library, whatever. But she's not sleeping at the house while the rest of the world is up being productive. Well, after another lousy morning for me (husband is already at work and is away for the times when I have to play "bad guy" and get daughter out of the house so I can leave), trying to get her up and out of the house, I told her that I wasn't waking her up tomorrow, I wasn't dropping her off anywhere. She's on her own. IF she doesn't get up and out by the time I leave for work, I'm taking everything she has in our house and putting it out on the curb. Even if it makes me late (she's dragged her feet and I've been late to work twice this week). Nearly every day has been a struggle. I've been sworn at, I've been late to work and twice I've fallen to tears. I can't handle it.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening, understanding and advising.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 370223, member: 8620"] Nancy, that is my husband's fear. He thinks she simply can not make it on her own right now. I understand it is a true fear and concern for him. It is for me, too. I think I'm just able to look at the bigger picture that includes[I] the entire family's well being[/I] and not just her needs. It may be "better" for her right now, but I do not see it as being best for the entire family. The conversation has been opened regarding the struggle between The Husband and I, and I'm really letting him shoulder as much as possible right now so he can understand what I'm going through. In the evening if she's home and [I]we [/I]can't take our regular walk together, then [I]I[/I] go for a walk and let him stay here with her. We don't have the financial depth to do many of the suggestions that were given, but I am making note of them and will try and use them in other creative ways. I'm going to bookclub Saturday, and I'm letting him man the house. I just hope, sincerely, that he doesn't bend the rules while I'm gone (has happened before). I do see our daughter really making some progress, but then it is overshadowed by these emotional outbursts. One of our conditions is that she is out while my husband and I are at work. She can job hunt, she can hit meetings, volunteer, go to the library, whatever. But she's not sleeping at the house while the rest of the world is up being productive. Well, after another lousy morning for me (husband is already at work and is away for the times when I have to play "bad guy" and get daughter out of the house so I can leave), trying to get her up and out of the house, I told her that I wasn't waking her up tomorrow, I wasn't dropping her off anywhere. She's on her own. IF she doesn't get up and out by the time I leave for work, I'm taking everything she has in our house and putting it out on the curb. Even if it makes me late (she's dragged her feet and I've been late to work twice this week). Nearly every day has been a struggle. I've been sworn at, I've been late to work and twice I've fallen to tears. I can't handle it. Thanks for listening, understanding and advising. [/QUOTE]
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Dealing with resentment?
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