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Dear God In Heaven What Have I Done?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 152976" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I am having no contact. For me, it is just enough to know where she is and that she is alive. As for the grands, I still don't think she has them unless she managed to shape up enough for cps to give them back, which unless a miracle happened, I seriously doubt. </p><p> </p><p>Knowing what the attempt to help her did to Nichole the last time is enough in itself to prevent me from reaching out. If she emails I can read and not respond.</p><p> </p><p>There is no threat of her using the kids to get to me. I'd call cps on the slightest indication. That was a lesson learned the hardest way possible and will never be forgotten. </p><p> </p><p>I also more than anything want to believe she and boyfriend-now husband sobered up, straightened up and got their act together. But the pessimist in me says that's probably not the case. And even sober sd can be manipulative, mean, and spiteful, as well as loving. Both her biomom and I suspect <strong>serious</strong> mental illness.</p><p> </p><p>As for using up people around them, they did that before sd landed on my doorstep. And sd knows me well enough to know I won't "help" her again.</p><p> </p><p>If cps didn't return the grands, it's possible she still believes I have them. That could be the reason behind her joining this sight. Hoping to contact me to contact them. I looked for boyfriend/husband name and he's not listed. But there have been searches done for my name. And I have no family looking for me, except perhaps sd.</p><p> </p><p>Thought popped into my head. She may be wondering if mother in law is still alive. Once upon a time she would've inherited. mother in law with her lawyers help worded the will in such a way sd will no longer get anything. I have the things to be passed down to Kayla and Alex, if someday that opportunity arises. But sd might be thinking there is money to be had. Who knows?</p><p> </p><p>husband's reaction was to curse, grumble, and mumble what the heck had I done that for? sigh</p><p> </p><p>Now that I know what I know there is a chance she's on MySpace. Actually a good chance as that type of thing was always big with her. So I might take a look see and if she is, that's a way to monitor her without her knowing.</p><p> </p><p>As for us, if she'd cleaned up she could find us so easy it's ridiculous. Even if she wasn't smart enough to look for my name listed, mother in law's address and phone are listed and have never changed.</p><p> </p><p>My aunt who was in a similar situation (and has since reunited after many yrs with her daughter) told me once to never say never. I'm not saying never. But I'm leaving the ball in sd's court. If she does decide to contact I'll be extremely cautious in my decision to respond.</p><p> </p><p>A little sleep has helped me to calm down and put this discovery back into perspective. I love sd, but I won't let her cause pain to this family again. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks for the support, and for the words of wisdom.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 152976, member: 84"] I am having no contact. For me, it is just enough to know where she is and that she is alive. As for the grands, I still don't think she has them unless she managed to shape up enough for cps to give them back, which unless a miracle happened, I seriously doubt. Knowing what the attempt to help her did to Nichole the last time is enough in itself to prevent me from reaching out. If she emails I can read and not respond. There is no threat of her using the kids to get to me. I'd call cps on the slightest indication. That was a lesson learned the hardest way possible and will never be forgotten. I also more than anything want to believe she and boyfriend-now husband sobered up, straightened up and got their act together. But the pessimist in me says that's probably not the case. And even sober sd can be manipulative, mean, and spiteful, as well as loving. Both her biomom and I suspect [B]serious[/B] mental illness. As for using up people around them, they did that before sd landed on my doorstep. And sd knows me well enough to know I won't "help" her again. If cps didn't return the grands, it's possible she still believes I have them. That could be the reason behind her joining this sight. Hoping to contact me to contact them. I looked for boyfriend/husband name and he's not listed. But there have been searches done for my name. And I have no family looking for me, except perhaps sd. Thought popped into my head. She may be wondering if mother in law is still alive. Once upon a time she would've inherited. mother in law with her lawyers help worded the will in such a way sd will no longer get anything. I have the things to be passed down to Kayla and Alex, if someday that opportunity arises. But sd might be thinking there is money to be had. Who knows? husband's reaction was to curse, grumble, and mumble what the heck had I done that for? sigh Now that I know what I know there is a chance she's on MySpace. Actually a good chance as that type of thing was always big with her. So I might take a look see and if she is, that's a way to monitor her without her knowing. As for us, if she'd cleaned up she could find us so easy it's ridiculous. Even if she wasn't smart enough to look for my name listed, mother in law's address and phone are listed and have never changed. My aunt who was in a similar situation (and has since reunited after many yrs with her daughter) told me once to never say never. I'm not saying never. But I'm leaving the ball in sd's court. If she does decide to contact I'll be extremely cautious in my decision to respond. A little sleep has helped me to calm down and put this discovery back into perspective. I love sd, but I won't let her cause pain to this family again. Thanks for the support, and for the words of wisdom. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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