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The Watercooler
Death, moving 5 houses, invesigation, job loss - life is depleting me
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 449985" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Thanks guys, I hope I will feel better, but then again, I don't really feel hope anymore. Instead I just feel disconnected, almost like a dismemberment of the soul has happened. It is a horrible feeling - I think I would rather feel mad, or scared, or grieved - anything but not alive real.</p><p></p><p>Janet - I do take on more than I should, and the place in WA is what I am holding onto as a cornerstone to change. Matt and my mom will be 2 hours away in Portland, and that will be especially helpful with the situation with Matt. I also have a friend that is moving to Portland, and a cousin who is my age that lives there.</p><p></p><p> I guess I didn't ever think about just leaving the trailer as is and let someone else figure it out - in fact I don't even know how I would do that - as I am not sure it would sell, and I definitely would not get my money back out of it.</p><p></p><p>The other thing that I started LAST Sept, when I had more mental energy was this investigation. Two weeks ago, they finally decide they want a novel about my employment there - and that was really the last straw. Again, I could blow the case off - but it has gotten so far now that they will still keep it as a case even if I blow it off, and I will be given a subpoena to testify. This is not something I did with my own lawyer - or with my own rules - it is really out of my hands.</p><p></p><p>One thing is for sure, is that when I get to WA I am going to start like a dog walking/sitting company or something. A job that I can have on my own terms, that does not require any mental energy. I feel like I am 18 again, literally. The thought of a "hard" job starts to give me hives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 449985, member: 3301"] Thanks guys, I hope I will feel better, but then again, I don't really feel hope anymore. Instead I just feel disconnected, almost like a dismemberment of the soul has happened. It is a horrible feeling - I think I would rather feel mad, or scared, or grieved - anything but not alive real. Janet - I do take on more than I should, and the place in WA is what I am holding onto as a cornerstone to change. Matt and my mom will be 2 hours away in Portland, and that will be especially helpful with the situation with Matt. I also have a friend that is moving to Portland, and a cousin who is my age that lives there. I guess I didn't ever think about just leaving the trailer as is and let someone else figure it out - in fact I don't even know how I would do that - as I am not sure it would sell, and I definitely would not get my money back out of it. The other thing that I started LAST Sept, when I had more mental energy was this investigation. Two weeks ago, they finally decide they want a novel about my employment there - and that was really the last straw. Again, I could blow the case off - but it has gotten so far now that they will still keep it as a case even if I blow it off, and I will be given a subpoena to testify. This is not something I did with my own lawyer - or with my own rules - it is really out of my hands. One thing is for sure, is that when I get to WA I am going to start like a dog walking/sitting company or something. A job that I can have on my own terms, that does not require any mental energy. I feel like I am 18 again, literally. The thought of a "hard" job starts to give me hives. [/QUOTE]
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Death, moving 5 houses, invesigation, job loss - life is depleting me
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