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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747379" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think I might tell him what your concerns are. That his intention is that you answer specific questions to verify the gifts to his son, but that you are concerned that you would be questioned as to wider concerns. That you fear that could not control what would be opened up. The hornet's nest. I would tell son, and let him decide and take responsibility. Even if he does not take responsibility you would know that you made him take responsibility, and to choose what he wanted. </p><p></p><p>As far as your feeling that your son is not responsible enough right now to watch his son alone, I would tell him this up front, too. So that he is clear that if you are asked you will tell the truth about your own beliefs. </p><p></p><p>Personally, I do not know how it is that your son is threatened to lose parental rights. Custody is one thing. I can understand that he cannot handle custody now. But parental rights? What has he done to lose those? Parents all over are flawed and in trouble and addicted and whatever. They do not lose parental rights, as far as I know, without having time to right themselves through treatment and making a new life. I don't understand this. It does not sound right. </p><p></p><p>If it were me I would not be conflicted about helping him maintain parental rights, as long as he is clear that you will honestly answer whatever questions are presented. And that you do not believe that right now he would be fit to be a custodial parent, but that you know he loves his child and wants the child to be safe and cared for.</p><p></p><p>I think the truth is the best way to go all around. Let your son decide. He got himself into this. It is not your responsibility to fix it. You can support him, but you cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again. That's son's job to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747379, member: 18958"] I think I might tell him what your concerns are. That his intention is that you answer specific questions to verify the gifts to his son, but that you are concerned that you would be questioned as to wider concerns. That you fear that could not control what would be opened up. The hornet's nest. I would tell son, and let him decide and take responsibility. Even if he does not take responsibility you would know that you made him take responsibility, and to choose what he wanted. As far as your feeling that your son is not responsible enough right now to watch his son alone, I would tell him this up front, too. So that he is clear that if you are asked you will tell the truth about your own beliefs. Personally, I do not know how it is that your son is threatened to lose parental rights. Custody is one thing. I can understand that he cannot handle custody now. But parental rights? What has he done to lose those? Parents all over are flawed and in trouble and addicted and whatever. They do not lose parental rights, as far as I know, without having time to right themselves through treatment and making a new life. I don't understand this. It does not sound right. If it were me I would not be conflicted about helping him maintain parental rights, as long as he is clear that you will honestly answer whatever questions are presented. And that you do not believe that right now he would be fit to be a custodial parent, but that you know he loves his child and wants the child to be safe and cared for. I think the truth is the best way to go all around. Let your son decide. He got himself into this. It is not your responsibility to fix it. You can support him, but you cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again. That's son's job to do. [/QUOTE]
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