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Hi guys! Thank you again for your support. Writing this all out is very therapeutic.


With regard to the questions of whether we have told him and the transport, we have not told him. When I was checking references, of the six families I talked to, four had used a transport service. They pretty much all reported that it was the thing they were most stressed about and it went smoothly for all of them. I got the name of the transport company from my educational consultant. The escorts are trained to diffuse tense situations, and they asked us a bunch of questions about R--what does he like, what does he hate, etc.. There's a script for parents to use to bring the men into his room--"R, we have decided to send you to X wilderness camp in X, and these two nice gentlemen, X and X, will be escorting you." Then I will go into our daughter's room. If R is calm, my husband can answer questions while R gets ready. If he is volatile, then my husband is supposed to go to another part of the house while they get him out. He doesn't need to pack anything. The transport service always has a plan B for getting the kids to the location--a different flight or even driving if necessary.


Part of me would like to tell him and talk to him about it, but remember that he is a flight risk as he has frequently left the house in the middle of the night. Also, I know from experience that my husband cannot deal with seeing his kids struggle with unhappiness--which is unfortunate because kids need to learn how to process and manage unhappiness--it's a life skill.


Yesterday I had what I would call a mild anxiety attack thinking about all of this, but in general I am hanging in.


Thanks.


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