Depressed and not sure why~

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
I am depressed. It's not just a blue period, I know the difference. I don't want to go back on a AD; I read Abbey's post below and I have been there done that - I don't think this will last. I am thinking my depression has more to do with this stupid winter dragging on and my need to dig my hands into the soils of my gardens.

easy child is doing great at school. I have no worries about that, not even worrying about paying for her upcoming sophomore year!

difficult child is holding her own in school - *hopefully* passing just enough to graduate in June; and I'm not even freaking out if she doesn't because I know that she will be okay.

H hasn't been drinking and we've been doing well. Really well. I mean, we still have some work to do on intimacy issues, but we're getting there.

I've been on this excellent eating program and I am progressively losing weight. I'm down 5 lbs and 9.5 inches. I went to an excellent conference last weekend and had a girls night out this past weekend to celebrate my friend's birthday.

But I am always feeling tired, like I haven't slept in ages. I feel lethargic and paralyzed with despair. At times it is a real task to be hopeful and content. I hate trudging to work and leaving my house. I just want to take a month off and fiddle around my yard and garden, read, and not be interrupted with all the daily BS. I go to bed and sleep for about 7 hours and I still feel like I can hardly drag my b.u.t.t. out of bed in the AM. It stinks. I barely want to shower or get dressed. I mean, I do it, but I don't want to. I don't feel like I'm dying depressed like...just mildly depressed. The last time I called my DR to be put on something, she talked me out of it and said I needed to get more sleep, diet and exercise, which I've done, and I am still feeling like crap.

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nomad</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Some thoughts:
1)Have you had a check up lately? There are health conditions that you might want to look out for. Certainly problems with thyroid are always thought to be a concern. Are you at an age that you could be having any changes with your hormones? <span style="color: #6666CC">Yes, I recently had all my blood work done and it all checked out really good - no thyroid issues. I am 44 and am in perimeno, so that's definitely a consideration - thanks for bringing that up because it helps to keep that in mind.</span>

2) I do know that when I don't exercise or don't exercise enough, I feel depressed. However, I don't like to ever feel too tired. I have to keep things balanced and it's not always easy. <span style="color: #6666CC">I could definitely kick up my exercise habits more - </span>

3)I have mentioned on this site that taking a B50 vitamin has been helpful for me with depression. In addition, but doctor discovered that I was a little low with B12 and I also supplement the B12. The B50 combined with the B12 has given me more energy and it's been a real blessing. <span style="color: #6666CC">The program I am on is loaded with vitamins, minerals and electrolytes - I have no concerns that I'm getting enough B's. </span>

4) I love feeding my mind with positive things. This includes positive literature, music, etc. I tend to avoid anything negative on TV, etc. Since I have been doing this I have been much happier. <span style="color: #6666CC">Now that is something I should be more mindful of. Thanks again.</span>

5) Sometimes I write positive affirmations to change my mood.
6) I booy trap my home to keep "up." One thing I do is keep fresh flowers in the home most weeks. <span style="color: #6666CC">It's funny you mention flowers - I could use that. I think I will pick some up today. </span>

7) Are you going to talk therapy? If not, you might try this to see if there is some underlying concern. <span style="color: #6666CC">Eh, I suppose I should probably do this - my schedule has been so nutty and making sure that everyone else is okay has kept me from finding a good counselor. I guess I should make this a priority. </span>

One final thought: I know for me...there are days that just having the long term/permanent stresses of my difficult child and some health issues, seem to have caused this weird low level depression within me. I'm working with my therapist to get through this on many levels, I use my "techniques and tricks" to help me feel better day to day and push forward. It's been very helpful.

p.s. If you do what your doctor asks you to do (maybe step it up a notch) and continue to feel this way and your doctor isn't open to taking tests or does not take you seriously, than you might seriously think about going to another doctor. <span style="color: #6666CC">That is definitely a possibility. I really love my APRN, but if she's not listening, why bother?</span>

<span style="color: #6666CC">Thanks so much Nomad - sometimes I just need someone to point things out for me. H is one of those 'throw yourself into your work until is passes' type of people, so when I talk with him about this, he basically just tells me to get over it. </span>


I can relate to your feelings. And I always think its strange when I review all things going on: difficult child doing good, easy child doing good, husband is what is wrong with me? I don't get that either. Nomad made some very good points, and I just want to read them over and over again. Anywho, I just wanted to give hugs and say I hope it gets better.

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Thanks Tina. I am feeling better this afternoon. I am making a list of good things going on in my life as well as special events coming up in the next couple of weeks. I am going to try an focus on those things. I got outside at lunchtime and the fresh air always helps to lift my mood.

Thanks again, Nomad and Tina.


Active Member
I think it is winter. I love being outside too and feel much more content when my hands are in dirt and posies. I finally have daffodils. flower therapy.

given my recent situation with boyfriend, I went out and bought new window furnishings and a three layer metal shelf I have been wanting. it changes the things I am stuck looking at

sit on your porch with a blanket on if you have to and sip some iced tea, sleep with the window open a crack!

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Hey Janet, It's supposed to rain here this afternoon, but I am hoping it holds off long enough for me to take my pups for a walk later.

I'm so jealous that you have daisies already! I can just see the tips of the greens. This weekend is yard clean up weekend, so *hopefully* that will also change my perspective. I think that after all the winter debris is raked up and cleared, I may see some more signs of spring. I saw a big fat red breasted robin yesterday.

Thanks for your thoughts


Well-Known Member
Gosh, the first thing I thought of when I read your note, Jo, was Spring Fever!!!!
But I love the suggestions by Nomad.
Especially the perimenopause issues.

Also, even though you've had bloodwork done, if this continues you may want to check for Epstein Barr. I had it several yrs ago, and had it in my system for 4 mo's and thought I was suffering from depression. The dr's ofc had staff problems and no one called me. Grrr! It feels very much like depression. Exercise had absolutely no effect on my energy level, and I cried when people gave me gifts because I hated the thought of writing a thank you note. Now THAT's bad! LOL!

by the way, in re: to your mention of rain and dogs... I walk even in the drizzle. I try not to make crummy weather an excuse. Exercise really, really helps. Sometimes just going for a drive to 7-Eleven or Starbucks helps, too, just to get out for myself for 5 min.


New Member
I hope you feel better soon. You've gotten some excellent suggestions, so I don't have any to add. I do agree with changing doctors if you get basically ignored. Sorry you get that, it's not too professional, in my humble opinion.


Well-Known Member
Good suggestions. Just also wanted to mention that for mild depression you may want to try either 5HTP or SamE or St Johns Wort which are natural remedies that can help with depression and seretonin levels. Just dont take more than one at a time. If you have any pain issues at all the 5HTP would be the one I would try.

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Thank you for the well wishes WFEN!

busywend, yesterday, I went home and grabbed difficult child and we took our gods for a nice walk outdoors. Then I jumproped on the patio and sat outside. Then I surveyed my gardens and hooked up the drainage hose for our pool cover. I also slept with my window open (thanks nomad, excellent idea) and I started a new book last night before bed. I firmed up some plans I have to meet with some women tonight and also with the tree guy to remove some trees in our yard tomorrow.

I feel better, but also still like I'm just going through the motions. But sometimes, doing just that is enough to snap me back. Today I am going to go for a walk at lunch in the neighborghood behind my office. It's a nice day, so that should help. I have a book of affirmations on my desk. I will read some of those.

Thanks everyone.

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Oh, I also helped my sister save a Red Tailed hawk's life last night and this morning, after driving difficult child to school, I also helped her repair the bird;s eye and feet. It was a cool experience.