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Depressed and wondering why I bother
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 535617" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Terry I have really been mulling over this situation for awhile. I worry a lot over what your son is really doing and the way you are handling what he does. Now you know this is all my opinion after dealing with my kids all these years and its because I care about what happens to your son. If I didnt, I would just read your post and go on without saying anything. </p><p></p><p>I think difficult child is manipulating the heck out of you because he knows you guys wont do anything but take his cord for a few hours or threaten him no video games but that doesnt last very long at all. He doesnt lose his phone because you desperately want him to have that way to reach him and he is tied to his girlfriend or girlfriend's at all hours it seems. If you cant even meet and know this girls parents well, they arent fit girls for him to hang around. </p><p></p><p>Were his he getting this money to pay you back for all the money he supposedly owes you? I have a sneaky suspicion that you give him chores and pay him to allow him to pay you back. No, he hasnt to work outside the home to make the money even if he has to pick up cans and beg people to mow their lawns. You cant pay him. </p><p></p><p>And speaking about the drugs and this whole dealer thing. You are never going to get the whole truth. These are young kids who are buying a little bit of pot and sharing it with each other. It could be one of them one day and another kid another day. Your difficult child could be the one buying the dime bag one day. You just never know. Or for this small a group it may be a nickle bag probably. </p><p></p><p>This whole stealing the money thing has to come down harder on him than you have been. Just the tv cord and losing games for a day or two if that isnt going to do it. You need to show him that this is a serious crime that he can be prosecuted for and that when he does it with a debit or credit card that it is bank fraud. If he claims he is you, it can also be considered identity theft. </p><p></p><p>I just think this needs to be clipped in the bud now while he is a teen and not when he becomes an adult and he faces adult consequences. I did all the things you did with making Cory pay me back and taking things away but it didnt work. Look where it got me. I dont want you or your son to have to go through what we did. You may think it never will but I didnt either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 535617, member: 1514"] Terry I have really been mulling over this situation for awhile. I worry a lot over what your son is really doing and the way you are handling what he does. Now you know this is all my opinion after dealing with my kids all these years and its because I care about what happens to your son. If I didnt, I would just read your post and go on without saying anything. I think difficult child is manipulating the heck out of you because he knows you guys wont do anything but take his cord for a few hours or threaten him no video games but that doesnt last very long at all. He doesnt lose his phone because you desperately want him to have that way to reach him and he is tied to his girlfriend or girlfriend's at all hours it seems. If you cant even meet and know this girls parents well, they arent fit girls for him to hang around. Were his he getting this money to pay you back for all the money he supposedly owes you? I have a sneaky suspicion that you give him chores and pay him to allow him to pay you back. No, he hasnt to work outside the home to make the money even if he has to pick up cans and beg people to mow their lawns. You cant pay him. And speaking about the drugs and this whole dealer thing. You are never going to get the whole truth. These are young kids who are buying a little bit of pot and sharing it with each other. It could be one of them one day and another kid another day. Your difficult child could be the one buying the dime bag one day. You just never know. Or for this small a group it may be a nickle bag probably. This whole stealing the money thing has to come down harder on him than you have been. Just the tv cord and losing games for a day or two if that isnt going to do it. You need to show him that this is a serious crime that he can be prosecuted for and that when he does it with a debit or credit card that it is bank fraud. If he claims he is you, it can also be considered identity theft. I just think this needs to be clipped in the bud now while he is a teen and not when he becomes an adult and he faces adult consequences. I did all the things you did with making Cory pay me back and taking things away but it didnt work. Look where it got me. I dont want you or your son to have to go through what we did. You may think it never will but I didnt either. [/QUOTE]
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