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Depression/motivation/perserverance
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 347832" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Well, depression in and of itself tends to kill motivation. Add a failure to that and you get what you're seeing regarding the learner's permit.</p><p></p><p>I think I have made things too easy for difficult child. Her mental/emotional stability has always been so precarious that schoolwork, to me, was not a huge priority. It helps that she is smart and actual learns better on her own than in a school environment. But, with her current emotional state, anything is too much. It takes a lot for her to just get through the day. I guess I tend to empathize maybe too much because I know what that's like.</p><p></p><p>Our kids have a lot more 'failures' than others and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As in...why bother, I'm just going to fail....or I'm stupid...or it won't work. They really need to have as many opportunities for success as possible. I guess in a way that's doing too much, but they go through enough already. If we help them attain some success, the feeling and drive will catch on - that's my hope at least. As long as you help them to understand that it was their effort that allowed the success. </p><p></p><p>When difficult child really wants something, she is very motivated and determined to accomplish it. There aren't many of those opportunities, but I make sure to praise her for what she has accomplished.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if I've answered your question...just my thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 347832, member: 7083"] Well, depression in and of itself tends to kill motivation. Add a failure to that and you get what you're seeing regarding the learner's permit. I think I have made things too easy for difficult child. Her mental/emotional stability has always been so precarious that schoolwork, to me, was not a huge priority. It helps that she is smart and actual learns better on her own than in a school environment. But, with her current emotional state, anything is too much. It takes a lot for her to just get through the day. I guess I tend to empathize maybe too much because I know what that's like. Our kids have a lot more 'failures' than others and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As in...why bother, I'm just going to fail....or I'm stupid...or it won't work. They really need to have as many opportunities for success as possible. I guess in a way that's doing too much, but they go through enough already. If we help them attain some success, the feeling and drive will catch on - that's my hope at least. As long as you help them to understand that it was their effort that allowed the success. When difficult child really wants something, she is very motivated and determined to accomplish it. There aren't many of those opportunities, but I make sure to praise her for what she has accomplished. I don't know if I've answered your question...just my thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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