My 20 year-old daughter has me confused and concerned. As a child, she was never naughty-EVER! She's never used profanity, never lied that I know of, always gotten good grades, never been a complainer, never used alcohol or tobacco or any other harmful substance, she's always been sweet and pleasant...in short, she has never done anything objectionable in her life. The problem lies in what she doesn't do, and she doesn't do much. She experienced some sort of anxiety or blow to her confidence right after high school graduation. Despite being a brilliant artist, said she wasn't ready to go to college, as she had no idea what she wanted to do careerwise. But I insisted since her uncle had saved a great deal of moneyfor her college education. She went for one semester to a private college that I now see wasn't right for her. It was a disaster. She began talking about how hopeless and frightened and overwhelmed she felt. She refused to go back to college. When I insisted that she at least get a job, she began working full time at a fast food restaurant, where she was quickly promoted to manager and was regarded as their most valued employee. It appeared to me that she enjoyed her job and had a lot of friends there. She'd had a good relationship with a boyfriend for 5 years, and although they broke up last year, she immediately found another nice guy whom she likes a lot. As a result of my urging, she has finally enrolled in a Community College, however she quit her job, insisting that she simply could not go to school and work too. I agreed to it for one semester because, more than anything else, I want her to have a college degree. She does not, and never has, helped around the house nor do her age-appropriate share of chores. She's never refused, but she just doesn't do it. She's obsessed with toys and with purchasing them online, and she has quite a following on her blog. Her room is overflowing. She looks much younger than her age, and dresses in what I consider to be a childlike style although people constantly want to photograph her because of her fashion style. She almost always seems reasonably happy and cheerful to me, but about four times per year she breaks down and tells me that she feels life is hopeless, that she's terrified of the future and of adult responsibility. She's says that she's experienced depression since the age of nine or ten, and feels she has a minor hoarding problem as well. (I'll go along with that!) I'm concerned with her very immaturity and with her dependency. She behaves more like child, albeit a very nice one. Because she has always been such a nice, easy kid, I'm afraid that, without realizing it, I have always been more concerned with pleasing her than with serving her best interests. Without realizing it, I think her uncle & I have always done too much for her without requiring her to reciprocate in any way. Now Ive got this big, sweet, 20 year-old baby who very much takes me for granted. And, although I very concerned about this depression, I also notice that she only seems to become depressed when I start asking her to do things that she doesn't want to do. I don't take depression lightly, but I suspect she may be partly manipulating me with it.