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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712801" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Who is paying for the trip? I wouldnt contribute a penny.</p><p></p><p>At the same time your pot smoking 22 year old is way old enough to be on her own. Its not a rejection. Its normal. All my beloved kids were out by 22. It is called adult independence...unless they expect you to fund it, but you have every right to refuse that. And you should refuse. My adult kids all funded their own lives. And it helped the good work ethic they have today.</p><p></p><p>Since 22 and 18 wont follow your rules it may be best if they left. You have younger kids who dont need to see their blatent disrespect and you dont deserve it.The therapy didnt work. Hey.. you tried (shrug). You need in my opinion to provide the others with a safe home where you are strong and healthy. They need to live without those two and their negative drama. And on another note, once 18 they dont need to talk to you about their decisions. We often learn from decisions, good and bad. Let them learn...let them face consequences. On their own.</p><p></p><p>This stuff happens mostly due to peers. Dont feel guilty. Yoy did not cause it. We give us too much credit. The world is big. We diminish in importance when our kids become teens. Peers rule. We did not cause their choices.</p><p></p><p>I dont allow any smoking of any type under my roof as I hate the smell and possible damage to others. If my adult kids wanted to smoke pot...lets face it, people do and not all are homeless drug addicts. But you dont have to allow it under your roof. Your home/your rules/your sanctuary. I would not let them come back, especially 22. She is able bodied. She can work. She is certainly capable of living elsewhere.</p><p></p><p> My 23 year old autistic son is in his own apartment with two part time jobs and a small amount of social security, paying his own rent and bills. Nothing from us. If he can do it, your kids can. They may not want to but life is not a cakewalk for anyone.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you love and light and hoping you can stand strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712801, member: 1550"] Who is paying for the trip? I wouldnt contribute a penny. At the same time your pot smoking 22 year old is way old enough to be on her own. Its not a rejection. Its normal. All my beloved kids were out by 22. It is called adult independence...unless they expect you to fund it, but you have every right to refuse that. And you should refuse. My adult kids all funded their own lives. And it helped the good work ethic they have today. Since 22 and 18 wont follow your rules it may be best if they left. You have younger kids who dont need to see their blatent disrespect and you dont deserve it.The therapy didnt work. Hey.. you tried (shrug). You need in my opinion to provide the others with a safe home where you are strong and healthy. They need to live without those two and their negative drama. And on another note, once 18 they dont need to talk to you about their decisions. We often learn from decisions, good and bad. Let them learn...let them face consequences. On their own. This stuff happens mostly due to peers. Dont feel guilty. Yoy did not cause it. We give us too much credit. The world is big. We diminish in importance when our kids become teens. Peers rule. We did not cause their choices. I dont allow any smoking of any type under my roof as I hate the smell and possible damage to others. If my adult kids wanted to smoke pot...lets face it, people do and not all are homeless drug addicts. But you dont have to allow it under your roof. Your home/your rules/your sanctuary. I would not let them come back, especially 22. She is able bodied. She can work. She is certainly capable of living elsewhere. My 23 year old autistic son is in his own apartment with two part time jobs and a small amount of social security, paying his own rent and bills. Nothing from us. If he can do it, your kids can. They may not want to but life is not a cakewalk for anyone. Wishing you love and light and hoping you can stand strong. [/QUOTE]
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