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Parent Emeritus
Desperately seeking support
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<blockquote data-quote="DoneDad" data-source="post: 712833" data-attributes="member: 17244"><p>It's great you're in therapy and on the same page with your husband! </p><p></p><p>Look at the positives in your situation. They took the initiative to find a job in China. They will have money when they return so they can live independently. </p><p></p><p>Maybe you're upset because you pictured things would be a certain way, and now they're turning out a different way. It's like a grieving process, with denial, anger, bargaining etc. - and then finally acceptance. When you realize you don't have any control over what adult children do or don't do. </p><p></p><p>In your case with them getting a job in China, there are positive things and negative things. Try to hold on to the positives and let go of the negatives. Focus on you, your husband, and your 3 minor children. Know your older 2 are safe, working, really thriving in a way. When I said before I'd dance a jig if mine got a job in China, I meant that I'd be happy if they showed that level of initiative and effort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DoneDad, post: 712833, member: 17244"] It's great you're in therapy and on the same page with your husband! Look at the positives in your situation. They took the initiative to find a job in China. They will have money when they return so they can live independently. Maybe you're upset because you pictured things would be a certain way, and now they're turning out a different way. It's like a grieving process, with denial, anger, bargaining etc. - and then finally acceptance. When you realize you don't have any control over what adult children do or don't do. In your case with them getting a job in China, there are positive things and negative things. Try to hold on to the positives and let go of the negatives. Focus on you, your husband, and your 3 minor children. Know your older 2 are safe, working, really thriving in a way. When I said before I'd dance a jig if mine got a job in China, I meant that I'd be happy if they showed that level of initiative and effort. [/QUOTE]
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