Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Desperately seeking support
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 712839" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Adult children dont normally have roundtable discussions with Mom and Dad about their futures. They decide what they want to do and do it. They dont need our input. It is up to them how they live their lives.</p><p></p><p>I wouldnt stress how they will live lives after China. They may stay shorter or longer than planned. They may stay there permanantly. They will have their own money. Why worry about the unknown? It is useless to have expectations that far out. They are young. Plans change.</p><p></p><p>Plans we make for others, including our grown children, dont usually work out because we only have control over one person....ourselves. Nobody else. We have zero control over other people, let alone adult children. They resent us if we are too in their face. That can cause relationship problems galore, even estrangement.</p><p></p><p>Focus on the children who still need you...the young ones. With 17, support his plans for his future. HIS plans. Not yours. I have made plenty mistakes as a parent, but trying to control my kids life choices was not one of them. Nor did I worry about if my kids got along with one another...that is between them. If one would have chosen to do what your oldest two chose I would have been very proud. They did nothing wrong. Im not sure what you think is wrong. It seems to be more that you dont want them to go so far than that they chose it...are you taking it personally? Adult kids go halfway across the country and to other countries all the time. It is uncommon these days for everyone to be in one place, and that is not up to us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 712839, member: 1550"] Adult children dont normally have roundtable discussions with Mom and Dad about their futures. They decide what they want to do and do it. They dont need our input. It is up to them how they live their lives. I wouldnt stress how they will live lives after China. They may stay shorter or longer than planned. They may stay there permanantly. They will have their own money. Why worry about the unknown? It is useless to have expectations that far out. They are young. Plans change. Plans we make for others, including our grown children, dont usually work out because we only have control over one person....ourselves. Nobody else. We have zero control over other people, let alone adult children. They resent us if we are too in their face. That can cause relationship problems galore, even estrangement. Focus on the children who still need you...the young ones. With 17, support his plans for his future. HIS plans. Not yours. I have made plenty mistakes as a parent, but trying to control my kids life choices was not one of them. Nor did I worry about if my kids got along with one another...that is between them. If one would have chosen to do what your oldest two chose I would have been very proud. They did nothing wrong. Im not sure what you think is wrong. It seems to be more that you dont want them to go so far than that they chose it...are you taking it personally? Adult kids go halfway across the country and to other countries all the time. It is uncommon these days for everyone to be in one place, and that is not up to us. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Desperately seeking support
Top