Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Despite my broken heart, we put my 16 year old son out of the house
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704362" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This sounds very clear and reasonable, your husband's position.</p><p></p><p>Your son is not trustworthy, will not be trustworthy until he is clean from drugs, and has completed a long-term treatment program. Here in the USA there are organizations that are free that will take young people as young as 16 or 17. One, a government program, called Job Corp, houses and feeds the young people, supervises them and trains them in very good trades. Then, finds them jobs.</p><p></p><p>My son went when he was 19. Maybe things would have turned out differently for us, had I not let him back home.</p><p></p><p>One thing I have learned, but seemingly, not well enough is that there is nothing we can do for them, or make them do, that they do not want to do.</p><p></p><p>There are people in this world, many of them, that live and die addicts. If our sons or daughters seek this and are unable to overcome their addictions and their lifestyles, there is not one thing we can do to support them, in our own homes.</p><p></p><p>Many of us keep trying, with varying degrees of success. It may work for a time. The issue for you is that you have young children, whose protection is foremost. Your husband recognizes this.</p><p></p><p>It is not so much that your son does not warrant second or third chances. It is more, what has he shown you about his own commitment to change, that would indicate that such a risk would make sense, even by you alone? Your son has to demonstrate that he has significant skin in the game. You cannot alone do all of the changing, make all the sacrifice.</p><p></p><p>The thing is you are not keeping your son on the street. Your son is choosing the street by his own decisions and actions. In my experience marijuana is not benign. And I have tried the drug test idea. It did not work. There were always excuses. I was unsuccessful in getting my son to get one drug test. He manipulated and he lied and he deceived. </p><p></p><p>You did not create this problem and you are not responsible for cleaning it up. He is.</p><p></p><p>I encourage you to keep posting. I know how difficult this is. I hope you stay with us. Be well and take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704362, member: 18958"] This sounds very clear and reasonable, your husband's position. Your son is not trustworthy, will not be trustworthy until he is clean from drugs, and has completed a long-term treatment program. Here in the USA there are organizations that are free that will take young people as young as 16 or 17. One, a government program, called Job Corp, houses and feeds the young people, supervises them and trains them in very good trades. Then, finds them jobs. My son went when he was 19. Maybe things would have turned out differently for us, had I not let him back home. One thing I have learned, but seemingly, not well enough is that there is nothing we can do for them, or make them do, that they do not want to do. There are people in this world, many of them, that live and die addicts. If our sons or daughters seek this and are unable to overcome their addictions and their lifestyles, there is not one thing we can do to support them, in our own homes. Many of us keep trying, with varying degrees of success. It may work for a time. The issue for you is that you have young children, whose protection is foremost. Your husband recognizes this. It is not so much that your son does not warrant second or third chances. It is more, what has he shown you about his own commitment to change, that would indicate that such a risk would make sense, even by you alone? Your son has to demonstrate that he has significant skin in the game. You cannot alone do all of the changing, make all the sacrifice. The thing is you are not keeping your son on the street. Your son is choosing the street by his own decisions and actions. In my experience marijuana is not benign. And I have tried the drug test idea. It did not work. There were always excuses. I was unsuccessful in getting my son to get one drug test. He manipulated and he lied and he deceived. You did not create this problem and you are not responsible for cleaning it up. He is. I encourage you to keep posting. I know how difficult this is. I hope you stay with us. Be well and take care. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Despite my broken heart, we put my 16 year old son out of the house
Top