Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detach / Don't Detach
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 445705" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, honestly I wouldn't put the burden of kayla actually handling the money on her. M wouldn't stand for it anyway. In his opinion any money is HIS, just as donna said, to do with as he pleases. But I want her involved so she can learn what she needs to learn to be a responsible adult because at this point katie most certainly can't teach her and she's already 11. I want to teach her how to shop for bargains and stash away money for things you might need or want later down the road ect.</p><p></p><p>M is the "wild card". Katie refuses to admit that he controls the cash, but she won't deny it either. She avoids answering when I try to pin her down. Since she doesn't like to walk places.......it just hit me that he's probably doing the bulk of the shopping. (ok now I feel a bit stupid for not thinking of that already) When M shops he doesn't pay attention to price, brand, or half the time even what he's picking up. Kayla is usually sent along to try to get him to come back with the stuff on katie's list. Even then if he's like he was here, 90 percent of the time......well let's just say if he's been doing the bulk of the shopping then I KNOW where all the foodstamps went, and he won't take back stuff she didn't want or won't use. </p><p></p><p>As for cash, I don't know if she can keep it away from him. I do know that to prevent him from spending the cash for the bus tickets here that she kept it in her bra until the moment they paid for the tickets. And she has told me he just goes out and spends it without a care in the world. "future" means nothing to him. He lives in the "now" totally. Once easy child is out of the cast I can either take katie along with us or do a seperate trip with her to shop.</p><p></p><p>The trustee thing would be great, except I don't know if anyone around here does it, and as long as M is in the picture there is no way he'd let her go for it even if she was interested. I do that sort of thing for husband. He pays whatever bills are to come out of each check and hands me the rest. I keep it on my person 24/7 and stretch it until the next check. He's a ton better on his spending but he doesn't totally trust himself.</p><p></p><p>Something interesting I've noted. Around xmas katie got new glasses paid for by medicaid, which she badly needed. Shortly after M "moved in" to the apartment she gave me some silly excuse to how they got broken. I didn't buy it at the time but let it go, she could still use them but the one ear piece was missing. She'd been spending quite a bit of time with us during the move in and easter and such. Then......we do this 2 day hard core rap session of clearing the air.......and now they're so broken she can't even use them. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidences. Every time she starts to reach out she suddenly switches gears or "gets sick" or whatever, but something happens. I don't think M is pleased with her reaching out again. You can't read to learn coupons and such if you can't see. But at least she didn't back out on me picking her up sunday morning to discuss this face to face. And I told her to call the Lions Club tomorrow and ask them to help her get a new pair of glasses.</p><p></p><p>I've tried domestic violence before when she came the first time. She went to a couple of sessions and stopped. Her counselor used to call the house trying to get her to go back. Right now she'd shoot it down.</p><p></p><p>Picnics with the kids is a good idea. I may do that too. Can give them some fun time at the park as well and us some bonding time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 445705, member: 84"] Well, honestly I wouldn't put the burden of kayla actually handling the money on her. M wouldn't stand for it anyway. In his opinion any money is HIS, just as donna said, to do with as he pleases. But I want her involved so she can learn what she needs to learn to be a responsible adult because at this point katie most certainly can't teach her and she's already 11. I want to teach her how to shop for bargains and stash away money for things you might need or want later down the road ect. M is the "wild card". Katie refuses to admit that he controls the cash, but she won't deny it either. She avoids answering when I try to pin her down. Since she doesn't like to walk places.......it just hit me that he's probably doing the bulk of the shopping. (ok now I feel a bit stupid for not thinking of that already) When M shops he doesn't pay attention to price, brand, or half the time even what he's picking up. Kayla is usually sent along to try to get him to come back with the stuff on katie's list. Even then if he's like he was here, 90 percent of the time......well let's just say if he's been doing the bulk of the shopping then I KNOW where all the foodstamps went, and he won't take back stuff she didn't want or won't use. As for cash, I don't know if she can keep it away from him. I do know that to prevent him from spending the cash for the bus tickets here that she kept it in her bra until the moment they paid for the tickets. And she has told me he just goes out and spends it without a care in the world. "future" means nothing to him. He lives in the "now" totally. Once easy child is out of the cast I can either take katie along with us or do a seperate trip with her to shop. The trustee thing would be great, except I don't know if anyone around here does it, and as long as M is in the picture there is no way he'd let her go for it even if she was interested. I do that sort of thing for husband. He pays whatever bills are to come out of each check and hands me the rest. I keep it on my person 24/7 and stretch it until the next check. He's a ton better on his spending but he doesn't totally trust himself. Something interesting I've noted. Around xmas katie got new glasses paid for by medicaid, which she badly needed. Shortly after M "moved in" to the apartment she gave me some silly excuse to how they got broken. I didn't buy it at the time but let it go, she could still use them but the one ear piece was missing. She'd been spending quite a bit of time with us during the move in and easter and such. Then......we do this 2 day hard core rap session of clearing the air.......and now they're so broken she can't even use them. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidences. Every time she starts to reach out she suddenly switches gears or "gets sick" or whatever, but something happens. I don't think M is pleased with her reaching out again. You can't read to learn coupons and such if you can't see. But at least she didn't back out on me picking her up sunday morning to discuss this face to face. And I told her to call the Lions Club tomorrow and ask them to help her get a new pair of glasses. I've tried domestic violence before when she came the first time. She went to a couple of sessions and stopped. Her counselor used to call the house trying to get her to go back. Right now she'd shoot it down. Picnics with the kids is a good idea. I may do that too. Can give them some fun time at the park as well and us some bonding time. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detach / Don't Detach
Top