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Detaching but not understanding?
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 47515" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>That is detaching. But, I think, for me at least, the biggest part of detaching was letting go of the guilt. I quit looking to the past and trying to answer the why. I quit making excuses and looked for solutions---not for him, but for me and the other members of my family. I realized that I had to follow the 12 step philosophy of one day at time just as much as my son does. So, each day without a lie, without drug use, without manipulation is a day that I celebrate. Each day with a lie, drug use, and manipulation is a day when I look forward to a tomorrow. His lies and manipulation are his problem. His drug abuse is his problem. My problem is how I choose to react to his actions. I have quit trying to "fix" him. I have enough weeds in my own garden, he has to pull his own!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 47515, member: 1436"] That is detaching. But, I think, for me at least, the biggest part of detaching was letting go of the guilt. I quit looking to the past and trying to answer the why. I quit making excuses and looked for solutions---not for him, but for me and the other members of my family. I realized that I had to follow the 12 step philosophy of one day at time just as much as my son does. So, each day without a lie, without drug use, without manipulation is a day that I celebrate. Each day with a lie, drug use, and manipulation is a day when I look forward to a tomorrow. His lies and manipulation are his problem. His drug abuse is his problem. My problem is how I choose to react to his actions. I have quit trying to "fix" him. I have enough weeds in my own garden, he has to pull his own! [/QUOTE]
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