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Substance Abuse
Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 629192" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I find the nature v. nurture question both fascinating and terrifying. My son is also my biological child. His father and I separated when he was 10 months old and divorced shortly thereafter. He saw him occasionally until he was 5, then never saw him again. His dad (my husband) adopted him when he was 7 and shortly thereafter his biodad died. My son has no real memories of him.</p><p></p><p>Even when he was little, I saw things in him that were his dad dead-out. When he'd get in trouble, you'd be scolding him and he'd get this little smirk on his face...exactly something his biodad did. I see him in my son more than ever now. It gets worse as time goes by.</p><p></p><p>His biodad was an alcoholic. He stole from his parents. He was a pathological liar. He was manipulative. He didn't want to get a job and work. He thought other people should just like him and his life should just be good with no effort on his part. I've often said the song, "All I want to do is have some fun" about sitting on a bar, drinking on a Tuesday, while the "good people" of the world are washing their cars on their lunch breaks...signaled the downfall of my marriage. It came on in the car one day and I turned to my ex and said, "This is how you think you should live your life, isn't it?" </p><p></p><p>Other than the alcoholism, I see all these things in my son. I'm not like that. My husband isn't like that. We're honest, hard-working, decent people. We tried to raise him like we were raised and to set a good example. We're completely lost because we don't understand people like that; how anyone could want to live that way. </p><p></p><p>It really scares me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 629192, member: 17309"] I find the nature v. nurture question both fascinating and terrifying. My son is also my biological child. His father and I separated when he was 10 months old and divorced shortly thereafter. He saw him occasionally until he was 5, then never saw him again. His dad (my husband) adopted him when he was 7 and shortly thereafter his biodad died. My son has no real memories of him. Even when he was little, I saw things in him that were his dad dead-out. When he'd get in trouble, you'd be scolding him and he'd get this little smirk on his face...exactly something his biodad did. I see him in my son more than ever now. It gets worse as time goes by. His biodad was an alcoholic. He stole from his parents. He was a pathological liar. He was manipulative. He didn't want to get a job and work. He thought other people should just like him and his life should just be good with no effort on his part. I've often said the song, "All I want to do is have some fun" about sitting on a bar, drinking on a Tuesday, while the "good people" of the world are washing their cars on their lunch breaks...signaled the downfall of my marriage. It came on in the car one day and I turned to my ex and said, "This is how you think you should live your life, isn't it?" Other than the alcoholism, I see all these things in my son. I'm not like that. My husband isn't like that. We're honest, hard-working, decent people. We tried to raise him like we were raised and to set a good example. We're completely lost because we don't understand people like that; how anyone could want to live that way. It really scares me. [/QUOTE]
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