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Detaching "WITH LOVE"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 629296" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>SuZir where did anyone say that addiction was a predetermined fact or destiny? I believe the addictive trait is genetic whether that be to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, video games, or any number of other things. That does not mean I believe everyone that is born from an addict has that gene and even if they do that they will succumb to it. My father is an alcoholic, I am not. Almost all of his sibling were also alcoholics along with his father. But I don't think my not becoming an alcoholic had anything to do with my environment but I believe the other characteristics I was born with were more prevalent, including resilience.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with since I haven't seen anyone say their child has no choice than to become addicted because their parent is, we are just recognizing the importance that genetics play, and it is huge. Perhaps the only difference is you seem to feel the environment can stop that from happening in many more cases than I do and that may be true in some cases but I believe in those cases the person has other characteristics that were inherited that allowed them to compensate, for example self control, resilience, lack of impulsiveness. I can show you many other studies done on adoptees but unless you have that experience it's only theory.</p><p></p><p>Does any of this deny the fact that nurture or environment plays an important part in a person's outcome? Not at all. I am convinced that without our intervention my difficult child would be far worse off and possibly dead. But did we stop the addiction in her? No. She has learned some coping skills and lessons that hopefully she remembers before allowing herself to fall into the same pattern she was in years ago, but in all honestly, the chances of that happening are much greater than if she did not have the genetics that she does. She will always struggle.</p><p></p><p>In any case I've had this discussion far too many times with people to want to get into it again. It's like the chicken and the egg thing. And it also is the stuff that adoptive families have to deal with every day, but if we did not feel we had any impact on their lives adoption would be obsolete.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 629296, member: 59"] SuZir where did anyone say that addiction was a predetermined fact or destiny? I believe the addictive trait is genetic whether that be to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, video games, or any number of other things. That does not mean I believe everyone that is born from an addict has that gene and even if they do that they will succumb to it. My father is an alcoholic, I am not. Almost all of his sibling were also alcoholics along with his father. But I don't think my not becoming an alcoholic had anything to do with my environment but I believe the other characteristics I was born with were more prevalent, including resilience. I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with since I haven't seen anyone say their child has no choice than to become addicted because their parent is, we are just recognizing the importance that genetics play, and it is huge. Perhaps the only difference is you seem to feel the environment can stop that from happening in many more cases than I do and that may be true in some cases but I believe in those cases the person has other characteristics that were inherited that allowed them to compensate, for example self control, resilience, lack of impulsiveness. I can show you many other studies done on adoptees but unless you have that experience it's only theory. Does any of this deny the fact that nurture or environment plays an important part in a person's outcome? Not at all. I am convinced that without our intervention my difficult child would be far worse off and possibly dead. But did we stop the addiction in her? No. She has learned some coping skills and lessons that hopefully she remembers before allowing herself to fall into the same pattern she was in years ago, but in all honestly, the chances of that happening are much greater than if she did not have the genetics that she does. She will always struggle. In any case I've had this discussion far too many times with people to want to get into it again. It's like the chicken and the egg thing. And it also is the stuff that adoptive families have to deal with every day, but if we did not feel we had any impact on their lives adoption would be obsolete. [/QUOTE]
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