Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment and thanks for this site!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 354291" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Terry</p><p></p><p>Detachment is a learning process. And usually when learning to do it you need lots of support because it is hard. Really hard sometimes. It's doesn't mean you don't love her. It means you love her enough to force her to behave like an adult.</p><p></p><p>My husband is also a difficult child. His mom saved him for years and years. He'd not pay bills, or write bad checks all over the place and she would give him the money to cover it all. I imagine the amount would be astronomical by now. Her intentions were good. But she didn't help him at all. He felt no guilt taking her money and continuing with his behavior. None. I had to put a stop to it. And it has taken husband years to overcome a lifetime of irresponsibility. The man is 62 yrs old. I made his Mom cut off funds about 10 yrs ago. It's just been the last few years he can manage to get bills paid and such without bouncing checks and robbing from Peter to pay Paul. I had to step out of the financial part of our relationship completely because if I attempted to take over and just do it.....he'd go behind me and make money vanish and I would be the one writing bad checks. ugh</p><p></p><p>If she'd make him face the results of his actions from the get go......odds are he'd have worked harder at being responsible long before the age of 50! </p><p></p><p>Life lessons are some of the hardest, but for some people it's the only way they ever learn.</p><p></p><p>Glad to see you're sticking with detachment. Good for you and husband. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 354291, member: 84"] Terry Detachment is a learning process. And usually when learning to do it you need lots of support because it is hard. Really hard sometimes. It's doesn't mean you don't love her. It means you love her enough to force her to behave like an adult. My husband is also a difficult child. His mom saved him for years and years. He'd not pay bills, or write bad checks all over the place and she would give him the money to cover it all. I imagine the amount would be astronomical by now. Her intentions were good. But she didn't help him at all. He felt no guilt taking her money and continuing with his behavior. None. I had to put a stop to it. And it has taken husband years to overcome a lifetime of irresponsibility. The man is 62 yrs old. I made his Mom cut off funds about 10 yrs ago. It's just been the last few years he can manage to get bills paid and such without bouncing checks and robbing from Peter to pay Paul. I had to step out of the financial part of our relationship completely because if I attempted to take over and just do it.....he'd go behind me and make money vanish and I would be the one writing bad checks. ugh If she'd make him face the results of his actions from the get go......odds are he'd have worked harder at being responsible long before the age of 50! Life lessons are some of the hardest, but for some people it's the only way they ever learn. Glad to see you're sticking with detachment. Good for you and husband. :happy: Hugs [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment and thanks for this site!!!
Top