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Detachment at the speed of light
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 620896" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p><u><strong>You are not that person</strong></u>. You are a person who is learning how to accept what is happening in front of your face. Accept it, and do nothing. That is what you are learning. To look truth in its face and still stand there, not flinching, even though the truth hurts especially when it's connected to your daughter, WHO YOU LOVE. </p><p></p><p>And Cedar, you will be the FIRST person, the VERY FIRST person, to rejoice and run to her and give her a party if the day comes when she is telling the truth, and taking care of herself, and taking her medication, and doing the best she can---every day---with mistakes---to live a life worthy of herself and of you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>THEY have taught us to work to get HERE. We would never have done this work without the horror of the disease(s), housed and thriving in the bodies, hearts and minds of our precious children pushing us to this place. We would still be the same people we were, fat and sassy, fixing and managing and controlling everybody all around us, and not needing a single thing for ourselves, because yes ma'am, I don't need a thing, I'm just fine. </p><p></p><p>What hogwash that was. We didn't even know what we didn't know, back then.</p><p></p><p>You have done the hard work of change, and Cedar, you still LOVE your daughter and you still want all good things for her, let them rain down on her, you wish and you hope and you pray. </p><p></p><p>But not at your expense anymore. You are now letting her be the adult that she is, with all of the rights and responsibilities thereof. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad you are seeing, experiencing and RECOGNIZING this momentus change in you. Why does it shock us and bewilder us and still hurt us? Because we LOVE. We will never completely get there because we love them. And that is a gift we all have that we love and are loved. It makes us so awfully vulnerable and that is the beautiful and terrible part. We can be smacked down in a New York minute! </p><p></p><p>And see, Cedar, your relationship---your most primary one---is strengthening as you are leaving enabling behind and moving into the LIGHT---keep moving forward Cedar, and take us with you as you go so we can follow...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 620896, member: 17542"] [U][B]You are not that person[/B][/U]. You are a person who is learning how to accept what is happening in front of your face. Accept it, and do nothing. That is what you are learning. To look truth in its face and still stand there, not flinching, even though the truth hurts especially when it's connected to your daughter, WHO YOU LOVE. And Cedar, you will be the FIRST person, the VERY FIRST person, to rejoice and run to her and give her a party if the day comes when she is telling the truth, and taking care of herself, and taking her medication, and doing the best she can---every day---with mistakes---to live a life worthy of herself and of you. THEY have taught us to work to get HERE. We would never have done this work without the horror of the disease(s), housed and thriving in the bodies, hearts and minds of our precious children pushing us to this place. We would still be the same people we were, fat and sassy, fixing and managing and controlling everybody all around us, and not needing a single thing for ourselves, because yes ma'am, I don't need a thing, I'm just fine. What hogwash that was. We didn't even know what we didn't know, back then. You have done the hard work of change, and Cedar, you still LOVE your daughter and you still want all good things for her, let them rain down on her, you wish and you hope and you pray. But not at your expense anymore. You are now letting her be the adult that she is, with all of the rights and responsibilities thereof. I am so glad you are seeing, experiencing and RECOGNIZING this momentus change in you. Why does it shock us and bewilder us and still hurt us? Because we LOVE. We will never completely get there because we love them. And that is a gift we all have that we love and are loved. It makes us so awfully vulnerable and that is the beautiful and terrible part. We can be smacked down in a New York minute! And see, Cedar, your relationship---your most primary one---is strengthening as you are leaving enabling behind and moving into the LIGHT---keep moving forward Cedar, and take us with you as you go so we can follow... [/QUOTE]
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Detachment at the speed of light
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