Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment at the speed of light
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 621045" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Dazed, I think you have been here with us long enough to remember what my mother said when she learned difficult child daughter had been placed in that initial dual-diagnostic. I will repeat it here for those who don't know, because it is relevant to your feelings regarding your own motherhood ~ and mine, too. There is a sense of failure there that is not, in fact, true. Recently, I have been able to see ~ not that I did not know these things that I know now, but that I refused to see what I knew. Recently, I have been able to see something so important to all of us.</p><p></p><p>OUR CHILDREN HAVE ALWAYS HAD PROBLEMS. OUR difficult child KIDS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE DIFFERENT, HAVE ALWAYS DONE AND THOUGHT THE STRANGEST THINGS.</p><p> </p><p>Given that this is true, and listening to the stories here on the site, it IS true that none of our difficult child adult kids was ever the perfect little angel we had convinced ourselves that, underneath it all, he or she was as a baby or young child...<em>we have all been extraordinary mothers and fathers and marital partners. Even if we lost our marriages as a result, partially or totally, of the stressors of a difficult child child...we worked as hard at our relationships with our mates as we have to keep our difficult child children in a place from which they can still launch successfully.</em></p><p></p><p>No, Dazed ~ it was never that your motherhood was a disaster. Your child (or children), genetically predetermined to be extremely challenging, are alive, are loved, are cherished beyond all hope or expectation <u>because you are a wonderful mother. The kind of mother everyone idolizes and wishes they had. You are, we all are, the mother on Father Knows Best, on Happy Days, on Eight is Enough.</u></p><p></p><p>Heh. Looks like I forgot to include the part about the nastiness my mom spoke when she learned about difficult child. Who cares, I think. My mom was never the mother I was.</p><p></p><p>She never could hold a candle to me, not as a mother, and not in so many other areas, either.</p><p></p><p>Your post was very valuable to me in my own process, Dazed. </p><p></p><p>The appreciation is in the knowing someone else has been able to clarify their story through what we've shared here.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Dazed. I appreciate.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 621045, member: 17461"] Dazed, I think you have been here with us long enough to remember what my mother said when she learned difficult child daughter had been placed in that initial dual-diagnostic. I will repeat it here for those who don't know, because it is relevant to your feelings regarding your own motherhood ~ and mine, too. There is a sense of failure there that is not, in fact, true. Recently, I have been able to see ~ not that I did not know these things that I know now, but that I refused to see what I knew. Recently, I have been able to see something so important to all of us. OUR CHILDREN HAVE ALWAYS HAD PROBLEMS. OUR difficult child KIDS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE DIFFERENT, HAVE ALWAYS DONE AND THOUGHT THE STRANGEST THINGS. Given that this is true, and listening to the stories here on the site, it IS true that none of our difficult child adult kids was ever the perfect little angel we had convinced ourselves that, underneath it all, he or she was as a baby or young child...[I]we have all been extraordinary mothers and fathers and marital partners. Even if we lost our marriages as a result, partially or totally, of the stressors of a difficult child child...we worked as hard at our relationships with our mates as we have to keep our difficult child children in a place from which they can still launch successfully.[/I] No, Dazed ~ it was never that your motherhood was a disaster. Your child (or children), genetically predetermined to be extremely challenging, are alive, are loved, are cherished beyond all hope or expectation [U]because you are a wonderful mother. The kind of mother everyone idolizes and wishes they had. You are, we all are, the mother on Father Knows Best, on Happy Days, on Eight is Enough.[/U] Heh. Looks like I forgot to include the part about the nastiness my mom spoke when she learned about difficult child. Who cares, I think. My mom was never the mother I was. She never could hold a candle to me, not as a mother, and not in so many other areas, either. Your post was very valuable to me in my own process, Dazed. The appreciation is in the knowing someone else has been able to clarify their story through what we've shared here. Thank you, Dazed. I appreciate. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment at the speed of light
Top