Detachment - I am getting better at it.....

toughlovin

Well-Known Member
Well difficult child just called and apologized for yesterday.....and that was all he called for, not to ask for anything else! He felt bad about the way he acted. He is nervous about being in yet another new place and the comment by the lawyer that we couldn't stop for anything was the icing on the cake. Fact is I would have stopped for a coffee or a burger if he had asked and been nice. So I am glad he called.....it is an improvement and progress.

TL


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Childofmine

one day at a time
TL, first of all, I am sorry you are sick and I hope you can go to bed and just rest. You deserve to do that.

Second, huge kudos to you for yesterday! You did fantastic! Congratulations! I know it was hard, especially being sick, but You. did. it. Awesome.

Now, you know what, it made me mad difficult child trying to divert all of THIS onto a conversation you had with his lawyer. difficult children will pick out the smallest things we do and make them into a mountain, while look at what THEY are doing...????!!!!!

So, okay, maybe you shouldn't have said anything about him at all to his lawyer, but I get it, and you are only human. I imagine in my fear and nervousness and not feeling good, I would have done exactly the same thing.

It's about keeping our side of the street clean. Regardless of what THEY do, we still have to keep our side of the street clean, and when we mess up, we have to apologize. I know you did that, and you already get it, so I'm just reminding myself today, that it's not about what difficult child does or does not do, at this age and stage, it's about what I do or do not do.

Warm hugs. I hope something good happens for him there. I am so glad he called and apologized. That is huge.
 

toughlovin

Well-Known Member
Thanks..... yeah i really was expecting not to hear from him until he wanted something. It is new getting a call early in the morning just to apologize and clean things up. He is having a hard time with the change and I think is depressed... he has been off his medications since in jail..... and it is good he called just to clean things up like you said. And I did apologize for saying something to the lawyer, I probably should not have done that but it was still not the mountain he made of it.

I am proud of myself for not trying to hash it out on the way.... I hate leaving things like that and am the kind of person that wants it cleaned up right then and there but I am learning not everyone is like that. So my keeping my mouth shut and just going in silence was the right thing to do.....gave him a chance to look at his behavior and feel bad about it on his own.

TL


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DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Pam...sorry, just a bad day for me. I want to quit, cant, am mad. Excuse my typing because I cut my finger and its taped up in duct tape...lol.

I also have a short fuse when people say taking rx medications are "taking drugs".
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Anyone who says taking prescribed medication is using drugs has no clue about psychiatric problems. There is a big difference between taking prescribed medication, and using it as prescribed, and being a drug addict. I've taken antidepressants for way over twenty or thirty years. I would not be alive without them. But they don't make me feel high and have no street value.
 

comatheart

Active Member
I'm glad he seems to have gotten the clue about the cigarettes. I cant tell you how many times I hear other parents say it's better than doing drugs. Maybe it works for some, but my son said they were a trigger for him. An addiction is an addiction and I wasn't about to support him by providing them. He's thanked me for not providing them when he wanted them most.

**HUGS**
 
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