In one of the other threads about tutors, I mentioned learning (trying) detachment with difficult child. I am doing it, but it is a daily struggle. In the end, I had to for my own sanity and to regain something of a life. It also helped me to loose the concern about what others thought, etc. This doesn't mean we take away his supports and are not here to help him; I think it's just a different way of thinking? Perhaps coming to terms with his conditions/getting through some of the mourning that comes with having a challenging child? For example, college is no longer an expectation for difficult child; it's there if he wants it, but he has to choose this path. He may not really understand it, but he will already say that if he ever gets caught doing something illegal, we will leave him sitting in jail (we all know that there are exceptions, but difficult child does not know this). This has been really hard for me, I tend to be a fixer and like to get along with others and had to learn how to be harsher, it's not natural to me. It would be great to have other's opinions and advice. Of course, I'm not sure how much husband would agree with my assessment of myself, but I think I've come along way in the last several months!