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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 708318" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Nessie, these types of young adults are survivors, if nothing else. You have every right to feel angry at him and sad for yourself that he is making dangerous choices that even affect his sister. Nobody would expect you not to grieve. We all do. We didnt want our dreams to turn into this nightmare. We still think it is partly our faults. Guilt is natural, although not really logical.</p><p></p><p>DNA is huge. Your son is like his father due to an obviously large dose of Dad's DNA, not his upbringing. Ypu had no control over that.</p><p></p><p>You need to find something to feel good about. You have saved your daughter, who does not deserve her brother's crap, from suffering from it anymore, at least not day to day. At least there are no drugs and fights in the house. A house should be a sanctuary.</p><p></p><p>Please try to see the good to your daughter. Your son was not refraining from bad/criminal behavior while he slept under your protective roof. He chose crime and drugs and assocoating with bad people anyway. He chose danger, even while living with you.</p><p></p><p>It cant get any worse than drug dealing even if he is no longer in your home. Sometimes it is the kick they need to get help, athough not always. And, if it is, often it can take years and years. But it can happen.</p><p></p><p>You protected your daughter. Thats huge. And you are also teaching a lesson to your your son. He cant be a criminal under your roof. Period. Its a strong message.</p><p></p><p> Certainly you stilll love him, but he is a danger to you right now. If you pray, pray and give him to God to watch over. If you dont pray, believe that you have done the only choice you had, and try to hang onto that.</p><p></p><p>We are all with you. And you can post, if needed, 24/7, 365 days a year.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 708318, member: 1550"] Nessie, these types of young adults are survivors, if nothing else. You have every right to feel angry at him and sad for yourself that he is making dangerous choices that even affect his sister. Nobody would expect you not to grieve. We all do. We didnt want our dreams to turn into this nightmare. We still think it is partly our faults. Guilt is natural, although not really logical. DNA is huge. Your son is like his father due to an obviously large dose of Dad's DNA, not his upbringing. Ypu had no control over that. You need to find something to feel good about. You have saved your daughter, who does not deserve her brother's crap, from suffering from it anymore, at least not day to day. At least there are no drugs and fights in the house. A house should be a sanctuary. Please try to see the good to your daughter. Your son was not refraining from bad/criminal behavior while he slept under your protective roof. He chose crime and drugs and assocoating with bad people anyway. He chose danger, even while living with you. It cant get any worse than drug dealing even if he is no longer in your home. Sometimes it is the kick they need to get help, athough not always. And, if it is, often it can take years and years. But it can happen. You protected your daughter. Thats huge. And you are also teaching a lesson to your your son. He cant be a criminal under your roof. Period. Its a strong message. Certainly you stilll love him, but he is a danger to you right now. If you pray, pray and give him to God to watch over. If you dont pray, believe that you have done the only choice you had, and try to hang onto that. We are all with you. And you can post, if needed, 24/7, 365 days a year. Many hugs. [/QUOTE]
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