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Parent Emeritus
Diagnosis = Heartbreak
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 641375" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>As I read your initial post, it sadly reminded me of a relative of mine who was clearly a narcissist....something you seem to suspect. Certainly, a personality disorder is likely. Such disorders are extremely difficult, draining and detrimental to families.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others. Your son is 29. He is a man. There is very very little to NOTHING you can do. He must know on some level his life is NOT working out well. Any healthy person by this point would STOP blaming others, especially his parents.</p><p></p><p>I actually think it is wonderful that he has a homeless shelter to go to.</p><p></p><p>I say work on yourself. Consider going to one or more Family Anonymous meetings where you will meet other parents in your same position. Continue going to therapy. Don't worry about what others think. Consider only conversing with those you are VERY close to about this subject. Secure your home and go on vacation when you can. Do thinks that are fun; whether it's getting your nails done, going to a movie or exploring a hobby.</p><p></p><p>I would NOT give your son ANY monies whatsoever. The only possible remote exception would be low cost therapy IF he asked for it and wanted it and you could pay directly to a therapist. But, let's face it, that's a VERY UNLIKELY scenario.</p><p></p><p>I also would limit your conversations with him both in the amount of times you speak with him and the duration of the calls. And if he is rude or accusatory, get off the phone immediately. </p><p></p><p>Keep getting support here, from a therapist and hopefully from a group like Families Anonymous. Strengthen you inner reserve, physical strength and own mental health by eating right, thinking right, getting support and do your best to let go of what you can not change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 641375, member: 4152"] As I read your initial post, it sadly reminded me of a relative of mine who was clearly a narcissist....something you seem to suspect. Certainly, a personality disorder is likely. Such disorders are extremely difficult, draining and detrimental to families. I agree with the others. Your son is 29. He is a man. There is very very little to NOTHING you can do. He must know on some level his life is NOT working out well. Any healthy person by this point would STOP blaming others, especially his parents. I actually think it is wonderful that he has a homeless shelter to go to. I say work on yourself. Consider going to one or more Family Anonymous meetings where you will meet other parents in your same position. Continue going to therapy. Don't worry about what others think. Consider only conversing with those you are VERY close to about this subject. Secure your home and go on vacation when you can. Do thinks that are fun; whether it's getting your nails done, going to a movie or exploring a hobby. I would NOT give your son ANY monies whatsoever. The only possible remote exception would be low cost therapy IF he asked for it and wanted it and you could pay directly to a therapist. But, let's face it, that's a VERY UNLIKELY scenario. I also would limit your conversations with him both in the amount of times you speak with him and the duration of the calls. And if he is rude or accusatory, get off the phone immediately. Keep getting support here, from a therapist and hopefully from a group like Families Anonymous. Strengthen you inner reserve, physical strength and own mental health by eating right, thinking right, getting support and do your best to let go of what you can not change. [/QUOTE]
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Diagnosis = Heartbreak
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