Hello and I would like to initially say I am so glad to have found this site, I have tried to Dr. Google my difficult child's perceived condition for years which only confuses, worries and ultimately does not give the answers that I am seeking which really is how do I make my child (well adult child now) not broken anymore. Quick rundown as I can say that much of the stories are so similair it's scary. Dad and I are divorce, both remarried. One other easy child = 24 years. difficult child = 29 years, small issues as a teen (driving infractions etc., nothing serious), generally a good kid although we could get into some good arguments at times. At age 26 he got into drugs such as oxy, antidepressants, ecstasy (these are only what I know about) and used them excessively. Most of the information about the drugs I received from his now ex-girlfriend. It started with psychosis, admitted him to the psychiatric ward 3 times, he was experiencing hallucinations but when away from drugs that did become better after 6 months or so, well it was better but not "normal". Over the years after that other behaviours surfaced such as not living by rules, example: would fill up his gas tank then tell the gas attendant he forgot his wallet (he never had the money) then call myself or his father and tell us he would go to jail if we didn't pay (we did). He stole money, had no respect for property, anything he did wrong he would turn it around to be someone else’s fault. He made excuse after excuse as to why he could not find or keep a job. Expected everyone else to pay for his truck loan and insurance. He got kicked out of every place he stayed with family and basically lived off his girlfriend for a time until he was charged with domestic assault (this year). His father and I wouldn't bail him as he could not keep to the bail conditions in jail (he called his girlfriend from jail) and then blamed us that he now has a criminal record. He is especially verbally and mentally abusive to me, will attempt to guilt me into whatever he wants and I as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think he could care less if I were alive or dead. There are 100 other examples I could give, but you get the point. The other issue with him is after all of the chaos he has caused we still tried and tried to help him (supported him, I still pay his cell phone - just so I can have a peace of mind) and consistently tried to get him into help which he would not go, his response? Argue, fight, manipulate (his specialty) and do nothing for himself, especially get any type of help, he has always said "what are they doing to do?" The drugs have not been an issue for about 8 months now, so now I don't know if he has mental illness brought on by drugs or if he had it all along. Last April after the assult charge my mother let him live with her where he continued to basically live in a recluse life, until she couldn't take it any more as he refused to work and then finally got drunk and punched holes in her walls last Friday. He has burnt all of his bridges and is for the first time in a homeless shelter. I am so torn about this but I know I cannot live with him, the shelter does feed him and I hear it is not too terrible but he is now blaming myself and his father for this too. I actually could not believe I read on this forum about adult children berating their parents for going on vacations, he does this too. I am hoping and praying this is his rock bottom and things will turn around but the stats don't suggest there is a great chance of that. So I continue on, I go to work, then go home and think...I am home and my child is in a shelter like no one cares about him ..meanwhile his Dad and I are dying inside because we fear he might get into worse issues that he already has but it is impossible to live with so that is not an option. He has no diagnosis for mental illness but I know there is something going on...then other times I think is there a mental illness called "severe manipulative rudeness disorder?" because sometimes he can be normal then he comes out with things that are just off the wall and he is a walking poster for someone who "bites the had that feeds them". I know this is a bit of a ramble and there really is so much more to this story that I can only hope comes out with some sort of miracle ending. I have been reading this site for 3 days straight and it helps to know you are not alone, yet I feel alone dealing with it at home. It's not like you can call all of your friends and say, hey guess where my child is? I went to a counsellor and asked what do I do without enabling him? They said treat it like he had cancer, so I gave and gave and it did nothing, he just wanted more and more. (it seriously went from money, clothes etc. to I want a car). This was all in attempts to make him feel better. The counsellors never diagnosed him and they only have half the story too but the result of seeing them was more guilt about what I perceived I wasn't doing. I get what they are saying about cancer, that mental illness is a sickness but the difference is the cancer patient is someone you can deal with, the other unfortunately is not. It's been 3 years of pure hell, I would love to say "that's it, I am done" but I always check in the next day and get my heart ripped out yet again. Thanks again for listening.