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Family of Origin
Did I do the right thing going no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 743083" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks. To me family is about love, not DNA. I had many challenges in my life and even as a child was demonized for them in FOO. My mom started picking on me very young.</p><p></p><p>I have no idea if my sister still reads my posts here or still posts about me, but just in case....I dont want to hurt her but she needs to understand that there is no chance she can ever see me again because she tends to try coming back during crises times or around the holidays.</p><p></p><p> And i cant do it anymore. I feel she probably misses me....but for me too much happened and after my dad passed it was time to no longer assosiate with any of my FOO, especially her. She is a teacher aid for challenged kids and I shudder to think of how she really feels about them....and has shared a little not good stuff with me about them.</p><p></p><p>I think most people here know my story and about how she eerily likes to call the police on me. I think most would have been done with her in their 30s when she first started repeatedly calling the cops on me.</p><p></p><p>She did it the first time when I was on her property trying to get her to talk to me after a hurtful altercation which I feel was MY fault, and she says I scared her. I give her a total pass for that cop call. After all I did not want to leave. I was crying and begging her to talk to me to make it better. So that was my fault.</p><p></p><p>But it became something she did repeatedly, even afer we moved out of her state, when she was angry at me over something as trite as s non threatenimg email. I was never near her when she called the cops after that. She must have called fifty times. Seems like it. Probably more like fifteen calls to the Men in Blue. She called them each time she got mad which was often. Usually it wad because I wrote her an email that she didnt like.</p><p></p><p>Then she would cut me out of her life for a time. I never tried to rekindle our relationship after those incidents with cops and her cut offs. It would be her that came back and I am forgiving. And I loved her very much. I still do. I always will. But i always ended up fine without her. It was always her who missed me and returned.</p><p></p><p>The cops will never happen again though. I have to be done.</p><p></p><p>My daughter is in Corrections and knows all the cops well now, and I refuse to give Sis any chance to embarass my wonderful daughter.</p><p></p><p>Funny but when she talks to a therapist which she finally got late in life, or posted about how "sick" *I* am ... never once did she expose how SHE called the cops on me so many times, even out of state, for no legal reason but for personal revenge.</p><p></p><p>Why not talk about THIS on her support board or to her therapists and my brother, whom she abused earlier in life? Because obviously anyone who knew about that would think SHE was not right in the mind. And she isnt. This refusal for her to take ANY serious responsibility for HER big stuffed discouraged me from trying to talk to her to work it out. See, it was always about me, not her. So that would never have worked. Never once would she admit that the cops were wrong and that she has mental illness too or that she could have helped me more with hard family times. So #### her.</p><p></p><p>I got help for my acknowledged mood disorder even putting myself in a hospital to try to get the max help I could for my depression which was crippling at one time. I am not ashamed of my challenges, but Sis obviously is of hers(I dont think she talks about her anorexia and over exercising either) and I am tired of her lack of civility ,(cops,) and lack of compassion towards me. I am proud of myself for ending up happy andaloved by my real family of choice, and finished with her. I have to be.</p><p></p><p>And I am no longer going to enable her by listening to her obsess about K, her abusive boyfriend of probably ten years now who she will never be able to leave. I tried to help but like all addicts she wanted to talk about him all the time but did nothing to get rid of him. I think he will be in her life even.if she marries someone else. I really do.</p><p></p><p>Please dont hang on as long as I did. And if the toxic person comes back, dont be a dumb dumb like I was. Dont allow it. I feel really stupid for keeping it up. My entire family of choice told me not to but I didnt listen. Dont be me.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow my vents always free me for months so thanks for allowing them. I will always sometimes be sorry that my FOO kicked me, even as a young child with problems, but I did end up with a wonderful life <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 743083, member: 1550"] Thanks. To me family is about love, not DNA. I had many challenges in my life and even as a child was demonized for them in FOO. My mom started picking on me very young. I have no idea if my sister still reads my posts here or still posts about me, but just in case....I dont want to hurt her but she needs to understand that there is no chance she can ever see me again because she tends to try coming back during crises times or around the holidays. And i cant do it anymore. I feel she probably misses me....but for me too much happened and after my dad passed it was time to no longer assosiate with any of my FOO, especially her. She is a teacher aid for challenged kids and I shudder to think of how she really feels about them....and has shared a little not good stuff with me about them. I think most people here know my story and about how she eerily likes to call the police on me. I think most would have been done with her in their 30s when she first started repeatedly calling the cops on me. She did it the first time when I was on her property trying to get her to talk to me after a hurtful altercation which I feel was MY fault, and she says I scared her. I give her a total pass for that cop call. After all I did not want to leave. I was crying and begging her to talk to me to make it better. So that was my fault. But it became something she did repeatedly, even afer we moved out of her state, when she was angry at me over something as trite as s non threatenimg email. I was never near her when she called the cops after that. She must have called fifty times. Seems like it. Probably more like fifteen calls to the Men in Blue. She called them each time she got mad which was often. Usually it wad because I wrote her an email that she didnt like. Then she would cut me out of her life for a time. I never tried to rekindle our relationship after those incidents with cops and her cut offs. It would be her that came back and I am forgiving. And I loved her very much. I still do. I always will. But i always ended up fine without her. It was always her who missed me and returned. The cops will never happen again though. I have to be done. My daughter is in Corrections and knows all the cops well now, and I refuse to give Sis any chance to embarass my wonderful daughter. Funny but when she talks to a therapist which she finally got late in life, or posted about how "sick" *I* am ... never once did she expose how SHE called the cops on me so many times, even out of state, for no legal reason but for personal revenge. Why not talk about THIS on her support board or to her therapists and my brother, whom she abused earlier in life? Because obviously anyone who knew about that would think SHE was not right in the mind. And she isnt. This refusal for her to take ANY serious responsibility for HER big stuffed discouraged me from trying to talk to her to work it out. See, it was always about me, not her. So that would never have worked. Never once would she admit that the cops were wrong and that she has mental illness too or that she could have helped me more with hard family times. So #### her. I got help for my acknowledged mood disorder even putting myself in a hospital to try to get the max help I could for my depression which was crippling at one time. I am not ashamed of my challenges, but Sis obviously is of hers(I dont think she talks about her anorexia and over exercising either) and I am tired of her lack of civility ,(cops,) and lack of compassion towards me. I am proud of myself for ending up happy andaloved by my real family of choice, and finished with her. I have to be. And I am no longer going to enable her by listening to her obsess about K, her abusive boyfriend of probably ten years now who she will never be able to leave. I tried to help but like all addicts she wanted to talk about him all the time but did nothing to get rid of him. I think he will be in her life even.if she marries someone else. I really do. Please dont hang on as long as I did. And if the toxic person comes back, dont be a dumb dumb like I was. Dont allow it. I feel really stupid for keeping it up. My entire family of choice told me not to but I didnt listen. Dont be me. Anyhow my vents always free me for months so thanks for allowing them. I will always sometimes be sorry that my FOO kicked me, even as a young child with problems, but I did end up with a wonderful life :). [/QUOTE]
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