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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 227089" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's not the presence of gay boys that would both me (as far as I'm concerned, they're honorary girls at a sleepover) but the lack of ANY adults present at a sleepover. I think your easy child needs to understand that parental rules are there for many good reasons beyond just that situation and that child. You have other children who need to see the boundaries respected. Their turn will come and they will quote this very situation as justification to do something probably far more risky. Explain this to easy child, also admit that when she's the only girl (and probably the eldest) then you're more likely to err on the side of caution, because she is so very precious to you and you've not had the practice before, of parenting such a precious individual.</p><p></p><p>We went through this with easy child. Because we live in an isolated area and she went to school closer to the city, she often had sleepovers (as necessity - a school function going late, friends would offer a spare bed overnight). There were even times when she wanted to go, but knew boys would be present/parents absent, and actually asked me to forbid her to go rather than her have to say, "I don't feel safe." I happily played along.</p><p></p><p>I think you were very generous to let her go at all, and then to take her back next morning. It sends a message to all of them that yes, easy child's parents may be a bit nerdy and overprotective, but also that she is loved, she respects her parents (because she DID come home) and that her parents, despite being so protective, still love their daughter enough to go out of their way to let her be happy and brought her back next morning.</p><p></p><p>I think you did really well.</p><p></p><p>Gold star from me.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p><p></p><p>PS I'd have responded flippantly to her remarks about smoking dope and having hot lesbian sex. Something like, "Make sure there is enough to go around," or "Don't forget the doggy bag, we want some too."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 227089, member: 1991"] It's not the presence of gay boys that would both me (as far as I'm concerned, they're honorary girls at a sleepover) but the lack of ANY adults present at a sleepover. I think your easy child needs to understand that parental rules are there for many good reasons beyond just that situation and that child. You have other children who need to see the boundaries respected. Their turn will come and they will quote this very situation as justification to do something probably far more risky. Explain this to easy child, also admit that when she's the only girl (and probably the eldest) then you're more likely to err on the side of caution, because she is so very precious to you and you've not had the practice before, of parenting such a precious individual. We went through this with easy child. Because we live in an isolated area and she went to school closer to the city, she often had sleepovers (as necessity - a school function going late, friends would offer a spare bed overnight). There were even times when she wanted to go, but knew boys would be present/parents absent, and actually asked me to forbid her to go rather than her have to say, "I don't feel safe." I happily played along. I think you were very generous to let her go at all, and then to take her back next morning. It sends a message to all of them that yes, easy child's parents may be a bit nerdy and overprotective, but also that she is loved, she respects her parents (because she DID come home) and that her parents, despite being so protective, still love their daughter enough to go out of their way to let her be happy and brought her back next morning. I think you did really well. Gold star from me. Marg PS I'd have responded flippantly to her remarks about smoking dope and having hot lesbian sex. Something like, "Make sure there is enough to go around," or "Don't forget the doggy bag, we want some too." [/QUOTE]
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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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