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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 227385" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>"I tell my kids to hold their drinks in their hands and never let go of it."</p><p>She did. That's the scary thing. In the more central (ie "experienced") locations, the drink spikers are very, very good at sleight-of-hand. She had her drink in her hand all the time; she just didn't also keep her eyes on it, she was probably waving it around, looking away at friends, etc.</p><p></p><p>She is actually my younger daughter; they go drinking once a week with their friends, but this one time they and their friends decided to visit a bar in the city, instead of the quieter Irish pub in the suburbs.</p><p></p><p>Back to the thread - I'm glad your daughter is now OK, svengandhi. That sounds like she's accepted your actions as being in her best interests, even if she didn't quite agree with them. And frankly, it's more important that you come to a compromise together, rather than the argument festers. However, next time she ants to have more freedom, maybe set in place the opportunity to discuss the range of options as well as possible occurrences, then build in her "escape clauses". For example, if you let her go next time, and things begin to go pear-shaped (maybe somebody pulls out a dope stash and she doesn't want to be around it) then help her have a pre-planned way of getting out of it. "My mother needs me home to help her first thing in the morning, she hasn't been feeling well and needs me to babysit while she goes to the doctor. Sorry I didn't tell you before; she just sent me a text message. She was very apologetic but it IS a family emergency. I'd love to hang with you guys, but family is important. I'll get with you guys later on, maybe when she gets back from the doctor."</p><p></p><p>I know it's lying, but in a way, so is dope-smoking. Frankly, lying to your friends about your need to leave is perhaps the lesser evil. Standing there and saying your piece about what you feel about drugs, isn't going to do a darn thing to help anybody, least of all yourself. It could make a girl targetted (esp drink-spiking, to set her up and make her look like a fool).</p><p></p><p>If she's getting enough experience at being out and about, she's getting sufficiently street-wise to be allowed a longer leash as she gets older.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 227385, member: 1991"] "I tell my kids to hold their drinks in their hands and never let go of it." She did. That's the scary thing. In the more central (ie "experienced") locations, the drink spikers are very, very good at sleight-of-hand. She had her drink in her hand all the time; she just didn't also keep her eyes on it, she was probably waving it around, looking away at friends, etc. She is actually my younger daughter; they go drinking once a week with their friends, but this one time they and their friends decided to visit a bar in the city, instead of the quieter Irish pub in the suburbs. Back to the thread - I'm glad your daughter is now OK, svengandhi. That sounds like she's accepted your actions as being in her best interests, even if she didn't quite agree with them. And frankly, it's more important that you come to a compromise together, rather than the argument festers. However, next time she ants to have more freedom, maybe set in place the opportunity to discuss the range of options as well as possible occurrences, then build in her "escape clauses". For example, if you let her go next time, and things begin to go pear-shaped (maybe somebody pulls out a dope stash and she doesn't want to be around it) then help her have a pre-planned way of getting out of it. "My mother needs me home to help her first thing in the morning, she hasn't been feeling well and needs me to babysit while she goes to the doctor. Sorry I didn't tell you before; she just sent me a text message. She was very apologetic but it IS a family emergency. I'd love to hang with you guys, but family is important. I'll get with you guys later on, maybe when she gets back from the doctor." I know it's lying, but in a way, so is dope-smoking. Frankly, lying to your friends about your need to leave is perhaps the lesser evil. Standing there and saying your piece about what you feel about drugs, isn't going to do a darn thing to help anybody, least of all yourself. It could make a girl targetted (esp drink-spiking, to set her up and make her look like a fool). If she's getting enough experience at being out and about, she's getting sufficiently street-wise to be allowed a longer leash as she gets older. Marg [/QUOTE]
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