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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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<blockquote data-quote="eekysign" data-source="post: 227473" data-attributes="member: 6479"><p>You had a hard call to make---I'm with the others in saying that there is no real cut 'n' dry response that you "should" have followed. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>My two cents? At that age, even when parents are home, they rarely interfere with what the teens are doing. I can only remember a few times that my friends' parents <u>weren't</u> at home when I was visiting, but I never really saw them---maybe once or twice, when I entered and when I left. As much as "parents must be home!" sounds like a good rule, for older teens it seems a bit useless. I don't know whether the parents didn't want to embarrass their teen by wandering by every now and then, or whether they honestly didn't care---but either way, I don't remember ever really being supervised! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I think the only response I can really make is this: Your daughter's response to you "i'm having hot sex and doing drugs!!" was exactly the sort of tongue-in-cheek comment I woulda made to my Mom under the same circumstances! From my perspective, that's a "I'm exasperated with you guys, but I'm not mad enough that I can't joke around about it".</p><p></p><p>One of the biggest fights I ever had with my parents was over hanging out "unsupervised". My hometown has a no-vehicle walking mall, and we used to hang out at the coffee shop there. When it closed, we'd hang out on the mall, or in the parking lot---sometimes for hours, until midnight or later! We never, ever did anything illegal---we got to be good friends with the cop that patrolled the area. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> But my stepdad was absolutely positive I was up to no good---"you hung out in a parking lot all night?? BS!!". Sometimes, you gotta trust your teens to behave as you raised them to. Even if the situation isn't ideal, showing that trust is huge. When my parents finally stopped doubting me about it (I wonder if they followed me one night or something! ha!), it started the process of us being equals. When I went away to college, I went away feeling like an responsible-for-myself adult, not a kid, and I think I raised much less hell my freshman year because of it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="eekysign, post: 227473, member: 6479"] You had a hard call to make---I'm with the others in saying that there is no real cut 'n' dry response that you "should" have followed. :) My two cents? At that age, even when parents are home, they rarely interfere with what the teens are doing. I can only remember a few times that my friends' parents [U]weren't[/U] at home when I was visiting, but I never really saw them---maybe once or twice, when I entered and when I left. As much as "parents must be home!" sounds like a good rule, for older teens it seems a bit useless. I don't know whether the parents didn't want to embarrass their teen by wandering by every now and then, or whether they honestly didn't care---but either way, I don't remember ever really being supervised! :) I think the only response I can really make is this: Your daughter's response to you "i'm having hot sex and doing drugs!!" was exactly the sort of tongue-in-cheek comment I woulda made to my Mom under the same circumstances! From my perspective, that's a "I'm exasperated with you guys, but I'm not mad enough that I can't joke around about it". One of the biggest fights I ever had with my parents was over hanging out "unsupervised". My hometown has a no-vehicle walking mall, and we used to hang out at the coffee shop there. When it closed, we'd hang out on the mall, or in the parking lot---sometimes for hours, until midnight or later! We never, ever did anything illegal---we got to be good friends with the cop that patrolled the area. :) But my stepdad was absolutely positive I was up to no good---"you hung out in a parking lot all night?? BS!!". Sometimes, you gotta trust your teens to behave as you raised them to. Even if the situation isn't ideal, showing that trust is huge. When my parents finally stopped doubting me about it (I wonder if they followed me one night or something! ha!), it started the process of us being equals. When I went away to college, I went away feeling like an responsible-for-myself adult, not a kid, and I think I raised much less hell my freshman year because of it. :) [/QUOTE]
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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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