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Did I over-react? Teen easy child issue
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 227612" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>This is one of those which came first the chicken or the egg thing. I have heard young people say that same thing, "she won't believe me anyway so why should I tell the truth." And my question is, why won't she believe you? Obviously my difficult child has proven to us that she is untrustworthy, over and over again. So when I ask her where she is or what she is doing, which is within my right to ask, the fact that she chooses to lie just cannot be blamed on the fact that I won't believe he anyway. It's her choice. It was her choice to take on the behavior that caused people to think she is untrustworthy in the firstplace.</p><p></p><p>Just today I went to the hairdresser for 2 hours. difficult child has lost her driving privileges and should not have driven anywhere while I was gone. I wrote down the mileage of her car when I left (unbeknown to her) and when I got back there was 14 more miles on the car. I asked her where she went and she lied and said nowhere. I told her I knew she drove 14 miles and she continued to say nowhere until she finally said she just drive around. Right.....I believe that.</p><p></p><p>My dad use to womanize on my mother all the time. As kids we knew it. He would come home and get into a fight with her, we called it going on the offensive, so that she didn't dare ask him where he was. He use to say she accused him of fooling around so he might as well do it. Hogwash. Those arguments just don't work with me. If he wasn't doing things to cause my mother to think he was up to no good she wouldn't have accused him.</p><p></p><p>I hate when someone blames their behavior on the actions of someone else.</p><p></p><p>I think this is off the main topic and I'm sorry I didn't mean it to get that way.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 227612, member: 59"] This is one of those which came first the chicken or the egg thing. I have heard young people say that same thing, "she won't believe me anyway so why should I tell the truth." And my question is, why won't she believe you? Obviously my difficult child has proven to us that she is untrustworthy, over and over again. So when I ask her where she is or what she is doing, which is within my right to ask, the fact that she chooses to lie just cannot be blamed on the fact that I won't believe he anyway. It's her choice. It was her choice to take on the behavior that caused people to think she is untrustworthy in the firstplace. Just today I went to the hairdresser for 2 hours. difficult child has lost her driving privileges and should not have driven anywhere while I was gone. I wrote down the mileage of her car when I left (unbeknown to her) and when I got back there was 14 more miles on the car. I asked her where she went and she lied and said nowhere. I told her I knew she drove 14 miles and she continued to say nowhere until she finally said she just drive around. Right.....I believe that. My dad use to womanize on my mother all the time. As kids we knew it. He would come home and get into a fight with her, we called it going on the offensive, so that she didn't dare ask him where he was. He use to say she accused him of fooling around so he might as well do it. Hogwash. Those arguments just don't work with me. If he wasn't doing things to cause my mother to think he was up to no good she wouldn't have accused him. I hate when someone blames their behavior on the actions of someone else. I think this is off the main topic and I'm sorry I didn't mean it to get that way. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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