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Did we overreact?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 629686" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>MOM, you'll drive yourself batty trying to figure out what went 'wrong' to make this child walk a different path than the other children in your home.</p><p></p><p>It is a very sad situation when we can see our children making bad decisions and there is nothing we can do about it. Legally he is an adult and he wants to live his life the way he wants to, it's a very 'me' age.</p><p></p><p>There are plenty of self help books available today that I wish were available when my son started the difficult child path. Read the ones about enabling and boundaries. There is no reason an adult should expect you to financially support his lifestyle when it goes against your morals of right and wrong. And, as has already been mentioned, you could also face legal problems with the drugs in your home and allowing him to drink alcohol. Underaged drinking and tobacco are being prosecuted in my area. Several parents were arrested for high school graduation parties and buying cigarettes. Twenty years ago a neighbor was giving my 14 yo son both and when I went to the police they wouldn't touch it.</p><p></p><p>I would continue the counseling by myself if hubby doesn't want to go. My heart goes out to the parents trying to help a difficult child get on the 'right track'. I can tell you I felt so much guilt from my poor choice in a father for my children and I had problems with both of mine in their teen years. My daughter's brushes with the law scared her straight and she turned her life around, my son's brushes with the law were just bragging rights. </p><p></p><p>Look after yourself and learn to detach.</p><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your son is still young, but that doesn't mean he has the right to take over your home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 629686, member: 13558"] MOM, you'll drive yourself batty trying to figure out what went 'wrong' to make this child walk a different path than the other children in your home. It is a very sad situation when we can see our children making bad decisions and there is nothing we can do about it. Legally he is an adult and he wants to live his life the way he wants to, it's a very 'me' age. There are plenty of self help books available today that I wish were available when my son started the difficult child path. Read the ones about enabling and boundaries. There is no reason an adult should expect you to financially support his lifestyle when it goes against your morals of right and wrong. And, as has already been mentioned, you could also face legal problems with the drugs in your home and allowing him to drink alcohol. Underaged drinking and tobacco are being prosecuted in my area. Several parents were arrested for high school graduation parties and buying cigarettes. Twenty years ago a neighbor was giving my 14 yo son both and when I went to the police they wouldn't touch it. I would continue the counseling by myself if hubby doesn't want to go. My heart goes out to the parents trying to help a difficult child get on the 'right track'. I can tell you I felt so much guilt from my poor choice in a father for my children and I had problems with both of mine in their teen years. My daughter's brushes with the law scared her straight and she turned her life around, my son's brushes with the law were just bragging rights. Look after yourself and learn to detach. (((hugs))) Your son is still young, but that doesn't mean he has the right to take over your home. [/QUOTE]
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