We made our son go elsewhere this evening. Our son turned 18 in January; he graduated from high school at the end of May. We have had issues with him for years, with him being rude towards us and also towards two of his siblings, including him becoming violent with older brother (when he visited) and younger sister (still at home). He has broken things when he's angry. He started working at a grocery store about 8 months ago, and he seems to be committed to going to work etc. However, we found lot of alcohol hidden in his room, cigarettes, and drugs. We noticed that he bought a digital pocket scale (for some kind of dope?)... We told him that he was not to have drugs or alcohol in our home. If he chose to smoke, not in our home or vehicles etc. We turned a blind eye to his rudeness and his ignoring curfews (as long as no violence), until he graduated. He has never been arrested although younger sister once called the police when he acted violently towards her (threatened violence and a slap) -- he was polite and contrite with the officers, who explained that he could have been arrested -- that was about 2 years ago and he has not hit her since that scene. We could see that he was choosing a dark path -- the smoking, coming home so late (well after work had ended), the alcohol etc. -- and we know he was on something last Monday, just not sure what because he went to sleep. He normally ignores us, like a boarder who does not pay rent. This evening, we tried to talk to him together (he had been intentionally avoiding Dad, manipulating Mom into letting him use the vehicle at times etc.). When we were talking to him, he just sat on his bed, arms crossed, staring at the wall. When one of us said something that set him off, he would scream obscenities at us. He has seemingly hated us for a long time. I would have thought he'd be anxious to be away from us. Our older children attended college after high school, which led to an easier transition. If any of them used drugs or alcohol, we did not know, perhaps because they were no longer at home. When they visited during breaks, they followed our home rules. This son said early on that he was going into the military and that he would not be going to college. He graduated with a good GPA and turned down a scholarship offer. We thought he would enlist in the military but then kept telling us not yet. He would have to clean out his system of course or no branch will accept him. We had offered to help him get his own vehicle but he did respond with interest. This evening he threw a fit about not liking what food was in the house, and he was ugly with me, threatening. We decided to have a "Come to Jesus" talk with him (not about faith, but about him behaving respectfully -- specifically defining our expectations...) He would not discuss anything, discuss plans, or such. If alcohol/drugs were discussed, he just continued to lie and deny (as if we're stupid -- we found that he had the audacity to put some in our kitchen freezer last week, then said he was "holding it for a friend"... ugh!) While our situation with him has not gotten as far as some people's, it just seemed that we had to act -- that we were just putting of the inevitable. If he is not an addict at this point, just "using" -- or "dealing" -- then he was at least headed in the addict/dealer direction. He had a friend come pick him up when I said I was going to contact the police to help him be escorted out of the house. We're leaving his phone service turned on; the GPS will enable us to know his phone's whereabouts, meaning probably his wherabouts. His oldest sister messaged me that he deleted and blocked her from FB (she's the sister he likes best) -- she thinks we overreacted. It is just such a tough night, wondering if we made the right choice, telling him he needs to move out -- not sure how this will all play out.