gcvmom
Here we go again!
I guess I should be reading ALL the posts here, even if I don't think some things are relevant to our situation because I just NEVER know what's going to happen with my kids.
husband got the call from school at 2pm that difficult child 2 had to be picked up from the office and that one of us needed to talk to someone before he would be released. They wouldn't say what it was all about, just to come collect difficult child 2. (I was already on my way to get him and husband called me in a bit of a "state" -- he hates not knowing things.)
I was asked to wait a couple of minutes in the lobby and then the principal came out to meet me and escorted me to the vp's office where the vp was also waiting. difficult child 2 was in the hallway outside the office looking very sad :frown: But I still didn't know what was going on.
When we were all seated (difficult child still outside), the principal pulls an object out of her pocket and sets it on the table. It's a Swiss Army pocket knife. And difficult child brought it from home today, apparently. And he was "showing it off" to kids today. And he supposedly also threatened another boy and said he would "murder" him and "slit his throat", according to two or three other kids (!!!).
The principal says this is a "cry for help", and that they're very worried about him. They acknowledge that he's been the target of teasing and bullying this year (and in years past) and they are working hard to stop the abuse (it's about time). But they are very worried about what he might do because he is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he's making impulsive decisions and saying impulsive things (and he already had a 1-day in-school suspension last month for hitting a kid (who had it coming) who had been mercilessly teasing and taunting him).
They said that on Friday difficult child 2 and I have to meet with the district crisis counselor, they're probably going to recommend that they pull the 504 and he get an IEP under "otherwise health impaired" so that they can provide more services to him, they mentioned a behavioral asessement which could be followed by a behavioral intervention plan (which is something I think they should have done two years ago). AND they mentioned the possibility of moving him to another school for a fresh start with new kids who don't already have an established perception of him as a kid who is sensitive and reactive and easy to target.
difficult child 2 finally got called in the room to talk with us about the suspension, and I was trying to get more clarification from him on what exactly he was thinking when all this happened. His rendition of the series of unfortunate events was less dramatic than what the vp painted. He said his teacher knew he had the pocket knife this morning (he asked her if he could use the scissors on it -- but it's not clear on how exactly that quesiton was posed or if she realized what he was talking about because it was during a group art exercise with two classes at the same time) but told him to keep it in his jacket pocket (!!! I hope that's not true! She should have confiscated it then and there!) He said he never took it out of his pocket all day, but did unzip it to show kids who didn't believe that he had one. He isn't clear on what he said to the kid who claims he threatened him -- says he can't remember, so I'm thinking that he did say something inappropriate -- but says that if he DID say that, he didn't mean it (trying hard not to draw parallels to O.J.) or wasn't serious about it. UGH! So of course vp is scratching down the notes to follow up with his teacher to find out what her version is.
He says he doesn't know why he brought the knife to school... no idea at all. Says he didn't have any trouble with anyone today at recess or PE or elsewhere, but he did a few days ago (more teasing). I just am not convinced there was premeditation here at all. And what the other kids are reporting is a little iffy for me as well... it's possible he said something inappropriate, but knowing how much some of these kids love to ensare difficult child 2, I would not be surprised if some embellishment was going on here.
Just a lot of mixed feelings right now. Didn't yell at him. We talked about the zero tolerance rules at school (again). He's staying home the next two days... no TV or video games of course. Left messages with the psychiatrist and therapist. Not sure where to go from here. A third medication? More therapy? He's on a break from his neurofeedback until after the holidays. Impulse control is still a problem. School reports he's very jittery and perseverates at certain things in the classroom (hands fidgeting with stuff). Handwriting is still really bad (was decent up until about a year ago when he started to fall apart). The printing is pretty good when the stimulant is in effect, but I suspect that's what makes him jittery. His mood is good, but he is very sensitive when provoked by kids who tease or if he feels justice is not being served.
I look forward to everyone's feedback... never thought I'd be facing this with any of my kids.
Good thing I saw my therapist today! :smile:
husband got the call from school at 2pm that difficult child 2 had to be picked up from the office and that one of us needed to talk to someone before he would be released. They wouldn't say what it was all about, just to come collect difficult child 2. (I was already on my way to get him and husband called me in a bit of a "state" -- he hates not knowing things.)
I was asked to wait a couple of minutes in the lobby and then the principal came out to meet me and escorted me to the vp's office where the vp was also waiting. difficult child 2 was in the hallway outside the office looking very sad :frown: But I still didn't know what was going on.
When we were all seated (difficult child still outside), the principal pulls an object out of her pocket and sets it on the table. It's a Swiss Army pocket knife. And difficult child brought it from home today, apparently. And he was "showing it off" to kids today. And he supposedly also threatened another boy and said he would "murder" him and "slit his throat", according to two or three other kids (!!!).
The principal says this is a "cry for help", and that they're very worried about him. They acknowledge that he's been the target of teasing and bullying this year (and in years past) and they are working hard to stop the abuse (it's about time). But they are very worried about what he might do because he is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he's making impulsive decisions and saying impulsive things (and he already had a 1-day in-school suspension last month for hitting a kid (who had it coming) who had been mercilessly teasing and taunting him).
They said that on Friday difficult child 2 and I have to meet with the district crisis counselor, they're probably going to recommend that they pull the 504 and he get an IEP under "otherwise health impaired" so that they can provide more services to him, they mentioned a behavioral asessement which could be followed by a behavioral intervention plan (which is something I think they should have done two years ago). AND they mentioned the possibility of moving him to another school for a fresh start with new kids who don't already have an established perception of him as a kid who is sensitive and reactive and easy to target.
difficult child 2 finally got called in the room to talk with us about the suspension, and I was trying to get more clarification from him on what exactly he was thinking when all this happened. His rendition of the series of unfortunate events was less dramatic than what the vp painted. He said his teacher knew he had the pocket knife this morning (he asked her if he could use the scissors on it -- but it's not clear on how exactly that quesiton was posed or if she realized what he was talking about because it was during a group art exercise with two classes at the same time) but told him to keep it in his jacket pocket (!!! I hope that's not true! She should have confiscated it then and there!) He said he never took it out of his pocket all day, but did unzip it to show kids who didn't believe that he had one. He isn't clear on what he said to the kid who claims he threatened him -- says he can't remember, so I'm thinking that he did say something inappropriate -- but says that if he DID say that, he didn't mean it (trying hard not to draw parallels to O.J.) or wasn't serious about it. UGH! So of course vp is scratching down the notes to follow up with his teacher to find out what her version is.
He says he doesn't know why he brought the knife to school... no idea at all. Says he didn't have any trouble with anyone today at recess or PE or elsewhere, but he did a few days ago (more teasing). I just am not convinced there was premeditation here at all. And what the other kids are reporting is a little iffy for me as well... it's possible he said something inappropriate, but knowing how much some of these kids love to ensare difficult child 2, I would not be surprised if some embellishment was going on here.
Just a lot of mixed feelings right now. Didn't yell at him. We talked about the zero tolerance rules at school (again). He's staying home the next two days... no TV or video games of course. Left messages with the psychiatrist and therapist. Not sure where to go from here. A third medication? More therapy? He's on a break from his neurofeedback until after the holidays. Impulse control is still a problem. School reports he's very jittery and perseverates at certain things in the classroom (hands fidgeting with stuff). Handwriting is still really bad (was decent up until about a year ago when he started to fall apart). The printing is pretty good when the stimulant is in effect, but I suspect that's what makes him jittery. His mood is good, but he is very sensitive when provoked by kids who tease or if he feels justice is not being served.
I look forward to everyone's feedback... never thought I'd be facing this with any of my kids.
Good thing I saw my therapist today! :smile: