And crashed with his head on the keyboard at my desk where he stayed until the older two moved him to the couch this morning. I couldn't get him up and asked easy child to and that's when I found out about how he slept, the hollowed out pin and cigarette wrapper. I found the white powder. He denied, denied, denied, but I reminded him that I grew up with this **** and that I know what a hollowed out pen, a cigarette wrapper and white powder mean. He then admitted it. I stayed calm, but was/am very upset. I let him know how much trust he lost with me. He started to cry. He said he was in a really bad place in his head last night and no one (his friends) would talk to him. I told him he could've woken me up. There is a part of me that feels to blame because I hadn't locked up my medications (it was my vicodin he snorted, plus took 3 klonopin) - I hadn't had a need to. He's been doing so well. But, ultimately this is on him. I hate shopping on Black Friday, but I will be out to get a lock box/safe thing. easy child and DF are taking difficult child with them to my mom's, so that difficult child 2 and I can go alone in my car and talk. Happy freaking Thanksgiving. I feel like I'm going to throw up.