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difficult child and easy child
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 235437" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Truthfully, it's understandable to not like one's difficult child sibling. Disliking them just fans her fires of discontent. She isn't so nice to you and husband this past year. difficult child coming home probably puts her irritability on high. </p><p>Mean is mean though. Arguing is normal ways kids learn conflict resolution. I'm assuming difficult child is pretty mean to easy child. If that isn't stopped she has no other defense but to fight back if she isn't taught a different way of resolve conflict. </p><p></p><p>When easy child realized he hated his difficult child brother, we tried to bring the awareness full circle. We pointed out that it is the behavior he hates and not the brother who was such a good friend when he was younger. We also pointed out that if we "dumped" difficult child then what was to stop us from "dumping" easy child? They are both our children and we will and have fought for easy child like we do for difficult child. easy child did come to realize that as time went on and he became ill and required surgery. Now there is an acceptance but there is still an air of superiority that I'm not wild about. I see easy child tolerating difficult child. If together for any length of time they do really well but I find easy child more patronizing of difficult child than I care for. As young adults I can not fix their relationship. I hope easy child grows wisdom to realize that every human has worth and deserves to be treated with dignity. Funny thing is easy child is kind and giving and tolerant to every other difficult child he has ever met but his own brother.</p><p></p><p>I'm just pointing out that difficult child is suffering natural consequences to his behavior. He has decreased capacity but again, mean is mean. Either both stop or neither will stop. Siblings want equal treatment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 235437, member: 3"] Truthfully, it's understandable to not like one's difficult child sibling. Disliking them just fans her fires of discontent. She isn't so nice to you and husband this past year. difficult child coming home probably puts her irritability on high. Mean is mean though. Arguing is normal ways kids learn conflict resolution. I'm assuming difficult child is pretty mean to easy child. If that isn't stopped she has no other defense but to fight back if she isn't taught a different way of resolve conflict. When easy child realized he hated his difficult child brother, we tried to bring the awareness full circle. We pointed out that it is the behavior he hates and not the brother who was such a good friend when he was younger. We also pointed out that if we "dumped" difficult child then what was to stop us from "dumping" easy child? They are both our children and we will and have fought for easy child like we do for difficult child. easy child did come to realize that as time went on and he became ill and required surgery. Now there is an acceptance but there is still an air of superiority that I'm not wild about. I see easy child tolerating difficult child. If together for any length of time they do really well but I find easy child more patronizing of difficult child than I care for. As young adults I can not fix their relationship. I hope easy child grows wisdom to realize that every human has worth and deserves to be treated with dignity. Funny thing is easy child is kind and giving and tolerant to every other difficult child he has ever met but his own brother. I'm just pointing out that difficult child is suffering natural consequences to his behavior. He has decreased capacity but again, mean is mean. Either both stop or neither will stop. Siblings want equal treatment. [/QUOTE]
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