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General Parenting
difficult child and her hygiene issues.
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 527784" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>(you for sure do not have to answer this, I was just wondering....and it comes from my sisters and I going to therapy together to work on our boundary issues, we were all up in eachother's business if you know what I mean...just too close)</p><p></p><p>When you said she gets offended, so what? That is her feeling and she has to work through it. I am not saying it is easy or fun, especially because in these situations our family members are only really doing out of their own view of "love' or "support" or maybe she got so scared when you were depressed and doesn't want to ever go through that again??? But obviously this is not healthy and you have enough on your plate. She may need to be an all or nothing participant. From now on, even if she is helpful at IEP's , get an advocate so that the lines are not blurred. I can see how it could be difficult for her when you signed the ROI and invite her to the IEP's....but she clearly has no common sense about the need to ask each and every time IF you want the help and IF you want her to participate. </p><p>There is no easy answer so I guess you just have to decide if you want it to go on like that. I really mean it when I say I can sort of understand. My sisters and I cried so hard and we had good reasons for feeling we could be involved with each other's lives etc. We really have learned good boundaries and after a time of adjustment (yes, it hurt some of us) we are now closer than ever in a really mature and respectful way. My sister recently called to tell me of my nephews struggles, and the results I posted in watercooler, I simply asked for help from the law advocate and gave her the info we always give here and my nephew is in the middle of an assessment right now. I would never GO there though. (Unless SHE asked and then I woudl only do/say what she wanted done or said).... it was not easy getting to that point, so believe me when I say this is not a criticism. The freedom is really nice though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 527784, member: 12886"] (you for sure do not have to answer this, I was just wondering....and it comes from my sisters and I going to therapy together to work on our boundary issues, we were all up in eachother's business if you know what I mean...just too close) When you said she gets offended, so what? That is her feeling and she has to work through it. I am not saying it is easy or fun, especially because in these situations our family members are only really doing out of their own view of "love' or "support" or maybe she got so scared when you were depressed and doesn't want to ever go through that again??? But obviously this is not healthy and you have enough on your plate. She may need to be an all or nothing participant. From now on, even if she is helpful at IEP's , get an advocate so that the lines are not blurred. I can see how it could be difficult for her when you signed the ROI and invite her to the IEP's....but she clearly has no common sense about the need to ask each and every time IF you want the help and IF you want her to participate. There is no easy answer so I guess you just have to decide if you want it to go on like that. I really mean it when I say I can sort of understand. My sisters and I cried so hard and we had good reasons for feeling we could be involved with each other's lives etc. We really have learned good boundaries and after a time of adjustment (yes, it hurt some of us) we are now closer than ever in a really mature and respectful way. My sister recently called to tell me of my nephews struggles, and the results I posted in watercooler, I simply asked for help from the law advocate and gave her the info we always give here and my nephew is in the middle of an assessment right now. I would never GO there though. (Unless SHE asked and then I woudl only do/say what she wanted done or said).... it was not easy getting to that point, so believe me when I say this is not a criticism. The freedom is really nice though. [/QUOTE]
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