The last I posted difficult child was fired from her job for eating a mozzarella stick on the job. We know there is more to that story but it will remain a mystery.
She had a job interview with a chain restaurant that would have been good to get because they are always busy. She was called back for a second interview with the general manager. She did not get the job. I suspect they did a background check and found her shoplifting arrest.
She still owes $100 on her January rent and her February rent is due in a week. She received two collection letters threatening court action, one for a $1000 bill she owes for credit card cash advancements and one for overdraft charges on her checking account. Of course she ignored all notices for over a year and now the piper wants to be paid.
She has no job, no money, collectors after her and what does she do last week...gets her tongue pierced. She came over to do laundry and I read her the riot act telling her how irresponsible she was and how she will have a very difficult time getting a job (the piercing was very close to the tip so very apparent when she talked, and she could not speak clearly). I was so disgusted by the whole situation and my stomach has been in knots.
Two years ago we kicked her out of our house without the tools she needs to survive on her own. We had no alternative, it had to be done, but the fact is she is not prepared for living independently and seems to have no sense how to do it. I'm not taking the blame, not saying we should have done anything differently because we shouldn't, but she needs so much support and learning and she isn't getting it on her own.
husband and I discussed that the only real solution is to let her come back home and help her learn how to get a job and save her money and pay her bills, but that would never work. She needs a structured environment where everything is controlled until she learns how to control herself. But we know that will never happen. So we told her to come up with a plan of how she was going to get herself out of this mess and present it to us and tell us what she needs from us to help her make the plan work. We told her that we weren't going to be here forever and unless she learns how to survive on her own now while she still has our advice she was going to have a very hard life.
She called husband and asked of we would loan her the $100 back rent and she was finishing up her 72 hours of community service this weekend and would continue looking for a job and go to minute men every day and try to get work. She called both collection companies and made arrangements for partial payment but it has to be paid by Tuesday so could we loan her the money to make those payments. She said she will use her income tax refund to pay off as much of the debt as she can. What she doesn't realize is that she will have a very small refund because most of her jobs we serving jobs for $3.25 an hour and no tax was withheld.
She's coming over tomorrow with all her paperwork so we can go over it. She called this morning and said she has a job interview tomorrow morning at a pastry store near downtown and her community service will be finished today. She did tell husband she took out the tongue ring (whew).
It's all so sad. While texted her the other day I mentioned that I was afraid she would end up in jail or dead and she said every day she thinks about three different ways to die. It breaks my heart that she is so tormented. I told her I was sorry she has such a horrible life and she said it was because of the bad choices she's made.. But she continues to make them over and over and just doesn't seem to learn or care and that is the sad part.
She had a job interview with a chain restaurant that would have been good to get because they are always busy. She was called back for a second interview with the general manager. She did not get the job. I suspect they did a background check and found her shoplifting arrest.
She still owes $100 on her January rent and her February rent is due in a week. She received two collection letters threatening court action, one for a $1000 bill she owes for credit card cash advancements and one for overdraft charges on her checking account. Of course she ignored all notices for over a year and now the piper wants to be paid.
She has no job, no money, collectors after her and what does she do last week...gets her tongue pierced. She came over to do laundry and I read her the riot act telling her how irresponsible she was and how she will have a very difficult time getting a job (the piercing was very close to the tip so very apparent when she talked, and she could not speak clearly). I was so disgusted by the whole situation and my stomach has been in knots.
Two years ago we kicked her out of our house without the tools she needs to survive on her own. We had no alternative, it had to be done, but the fact is she is not prepared for living independently and seems to have no sense how to do it. I'm not taking the blame, not saying we should have done anything differently because we shouldn't, but she needs so much support and learning and she isn't getting it on her own.
husband and I discussed that the only real solution is to let her come back home and help her learn how to get a job and save her money and pay her bills, but that would never work. She needs a structured environment where everything is controlled until she learns how to control herself. But we know that will never happen. So we told her to come up with a plan of how she was going to get herself out of this mess and present it to us and tell us what she needs from us to help her make the plan work. We told her that we weren't going to be here forever and unless she learns how to survive on her own now while she still has our advice she was going to have a very hard life.
She called husband and asked of we would loan her the $100 back rent and she was finishing up her 72 hours of community service this weekend and would continue looking for a job and go to minute men every day and try to get work. She called both collection companies and made arrangements for partial payment but it has to be paid by Tuesday so could we loan her the money to make those payments. She said she will use her income tax refund to pay off as much of the debt as she can. What she doesn't realize is that she will have a very small refund because most of her jobs we serving jobs for $3.25 an hour and no tax was withheld.
She's coming over tomorrow with all her paperwork so we can go over it. She called this morning and said she has a job interview tomorrow morning at a pastry store near downtown and her community service will be finished today. She did tell husband she took out the tongue ring (whew).
It's all so sad. While texted her the other day I mentioned that I was afraid she would end up in jail or dead and she said every day she thinks about three different ways to die. It breaks my heart that she is so tormented. I told her I was sorry she has such a horrible life and she said it was because of the bad choices she's made.. But she continues to make them over and over and just doesn't seem to learn or care and that is the sad part.
