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Hi Nancy,

Does everything hinge from your difficult child's drinking?  Do all her other unfortunate choices seem to stem from the main problem, which is drinking/using?  If so....I doubt she can be organized financially, socially, mentally, career-wise, etc.  It's like a process of elimination; first eliminate the drinking, go to AA, or to another program and get clean.  Then you have to slowly but surely deal with the mess you've made thus far, then you can make positive changes. All of these steps come with great support. But you can't paint over a dirty wall.  You have to scrub it first.

Problem is...dealing with a mess is not what difficult child's do - they avoid them like the plague.

If you can somehow convince her of what she already knows...she needs big time help, and she must take that first step to stop drinking.  Everything else is just window dressing, I think.  Not too many people can be "functional alcoholics" for long.  The hardest part is that you know this, husband knows this, but difficult child has to "get it."  Not fun.


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