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Substance Abuse
difficult child and life
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 576521" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>TL I don't give her any money that she can use for anything. We got a money order, she made it out to the collector in front of us, wrote out the envelope and I mailed it today. If we help with rent we send the check right to the landlord. I fill her car with gas myself so she can look for a job. We made contact several times today, she did everything on her list, went to three places looking for employment, and is going on an interview tomorrow and then meeting husband at his office to call the collector and try to work out a settlement. We are prepared to make a lump sum payment on her behalf to prevent a lawsuit from being filed which is their next step. Will she pay us back? I have no idea. Honestly I would be thrilled if she got a job and kept it and started over with no debts and paid her bills on time. That would be an enormous improvement.</p><p></p><p>Will she stop drinking? Probably not. I've given up on that for now. She has told us several times the past week that she is changing and she wants to make us proud of her. Just talk? I don't know. I think she really wants that to happen and our goal now is to try to get her to be responsible enough to be able to take care of herself. I can't fix her or cure her. As far as I know she isn't doing any kind of drugs. My expectations are low and yes I could find my heart broken again and lose hope but for now she is following the plan and doing what she needs to do to get her life in order. I have to believe that if she is willing to follow the structure we are trying to help her put in her life and not get into trouble that she is learning something.</p><p></p><p>I just have to keep following my gut, when she is doing what she is suppose to be doing we help and when she isn't we pull back. That in itself has to tell her something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 576521, member: 59"] TL I don't give her any money that she can use for anything. We got a money order, she made it out to the collector in front of us, wrote out the envelope and I mailed it today. If we help with rent we send the check right to the landlord. I fill her car with gas myself so she can look for a job. We made contact several times today, she did everything on her list, went to three places looking for employment, and is going on an interview tomorrow and then meeting husband at his office to call the collector and try to work out a settlement. We are prepared to make a lump sum payment on her behalf to prevent a lawsuit from being filed which is their next step. Will she pay us back? I have no idea. Honestly I would be thrilled if she got a job and kept it and started over with no debts and paid her bills on time. That would be an enormous improvement. Will she stop drinking? Probably not. I've given up on that for now. She has told us several times the past week that she is changing and she wants to make us proud of her. Just talk? I don't know. I think she really wants that to happen and our goal now is to try to get her to be responsible enough to be able to take care of herself. I can't fix her or cure her. As far as I know she isn't doing any kind of drugs. My expectations are low and yes I could find my heart broken again and lose hope but for now she is following the plan and doing what she needs to do to get her life in order. I have to believe that if she is willing to follow the structure we are trying to help her put in her life and not get into trouble that she is learning something. I just have to keep following my gut, when she is doing what she is suppose to be doing we help and when she isn't we pull back. That in itself has to tell her something. [/QUOTE]
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