Nancy, I totally agree you have to follow your gut. And you are so right you really cant control her drinking and so giving up on that is important. I think the main thing when you help them with stuff like this is that you not be tied to the outcome. If you can give to her freely with low expectations of the outcome then I think it is fine. It sounds like you are doing it partly for your own piece of mind and that is really important. Sometimes I think we need to help when we can so that we know in our hearts we have done what we can.
Time will tell if she is really making changes, I really hope that she sincerely is.
TL
