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Parent Emeritus
difficult child and quitting her job - It was all a lie and I am boiling.
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 543218" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Dash you know you arent going to like my answer. She is 21. Why not try treating her as a roommate. She is old enough at this point for anything that you did as a mother to have already sunk in and its in there somewhere. When she is ready to use those skills, she will have them and use them. Right now she is acting like tons of 21 year olds all over the country...or maybe all kids 18 to 21 who head off to college straight from HS. </p><p></p><p>You could set up some basic roommate rules about things you would expect of a roommate in your home such as no drugs in your home, no overnight guests, no loud music, clean up after herself in the kitchen, rent paid every week on such and such a day, use of car if you wish, laundry use if applicable, etc. Im not even sure I would get into any sort of curfew unless you want to say that she has a key to a door far from your bedroom so as not to wake you up. If not, then I would say something to the effect of the doors to your house are locked at midnight so you can get to sleep and she can find somewhere else to sleep on those nights. </p><p></p><p>Time to just cut the apron strings. If you simply cannot do this then its time to help her move out into a place of her own. A cheap apartment or maybe a boarding house. Someplace you dont have to watch her comings and goings. She is old enough you dont need to worry about what she does 24/7. Its not good for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 543218, member: 1514"] Dash you know you arent going to like my answer. She is 21. Why not try treating her as a roommate. She is old enough at this point for anything that you did as a mother to have already sunk in and its in there somewhere. When she is ready to use those skills, she will have them and use them. Right now she is acting like tons of 21 year olds all over the country...or maybe all kids 18 to 21 who head off to college straight from HS. You could set up some basic roommate rules about things you would expect of a roommate in your home such as no drugs in your home, no overnight guests, no loud music, clean up after herself in the kitchen, rent paid every week on such and such a day, use of car if you wish, laundry use if applicable, etc. Im not even sure I would get into any sort of curfew unless you want to say that she has a key to a door far from your bedroom so as not to wake you up. If not, then I would say something to the effect of the doors to your house are locked at midnight so you can get to sleep and she can find somewhere else to sleep on those nights. Time to just cut the apron strings. If you simply cannot do this then its time to help her move out into a place of her own. A cheap apartment or maybe a boarding house. Someplace you dont have to watch her comings and goings. She is old enough you dont need to worry about what she does 24/7. Its not good for you. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child and quitting her job - It was all a lie and I am boiling.
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