Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by feelinalone, Mar 9, 2008.
I'm sorry for your hurting heart (and body). Please call his psychiatrist today and let him/her know what is going on. Gentle hugs.
I agree to call his psychiatrist first thing in the morning. If he's reached a point where any reasonable request results in violence then you need immediate intervention.
He's getting to the age and size where you need to have an emergency plan in place on how to handle violence: arrangement to transport to the hospital, wrap around services, crisis team, etc.
First, hugs for your hurting heart. Second, I agree with SRL. You need to call psychiatrist and let him/her know about this violence. Additionally, you need to get an emergency plan in place for future outbursts. It's not good enough to have a family member or a friend step in. This ability to control to a point needs to be addressed. I agree wtih SRL about the options of your plan. Please discuss these with your psychiatrist.
I hope this morning goes smoothly.
I, too, agree with calling his psychiatrist this morning. It does sound as if he's reacting to the Prozac weaning. He may need a temporary increase in Abilify to counteract the aggression.
The "devilish little grin" can be what's called "affect inappropriate to the situation." We've been told by our psychiatrists that this can be a symptom of mania, which is consistent with an untreated mood disorder.
There's a mention of withdrawing from Prozac in your post but your signature also states that Ritalin was discontinued 2/20/08. Is he coming off of two medications at once?
in my humble opinion, if your psychiatrist isn't helping, it may be time to find a new one. This type of behavior isn't helping him to be a productive human being, and if it isn't stopped, then it's only going to get worse as he gets older and stronger. My difficult child was on Abilify, and it didn't help with the same types of behavior your son is displaying. A medication change is definitely in order.
I would also add the police to the mix. The next time difficult child physically hurts you, call the cops. It took a couple of times with my difficult child, but he got the point. He did NOT like being restrained by a cop, nor having to sit in the back of a police car as they took him to the hospital. Now all I have to say when he gets into a rage is that I WILL call the police if he hurts me or damages any property, and he stops. The yelling and screaming doesn't, of course!
My thoughts are with you, and I'm sending you a virtual hug. Take care, keep strong, and know there is support for you here!
Big hugs............I have been there done that with my kiddo.
Tell me about the medication situation. Is he D/Cing the Ritalin or Prozac? If even one medication is slightly off, it can have a devastating effect on children like these. They lose their little marbles over everything and anything if even one brain chemical is off. Both Ritalin and Prozac, each individually, made my son require hospitalization. Both activated him into a state of chaos. Have you considered the phosph route if he gets out of control again?
Be glad he responds to your sister and brother in law, not guilty or sad, it has nothing to do with how much he loves you. Kids like these often respond better to males, especially ones that are not part of the every day grind.
We're not offended that you have chosen a nonmedication route. Many here have done so, including myself.
I am curious though as to what your plan is? The diagnosis that your son has typically requires incredibly high levels of intervention both inside and outside of school just to maintain (much less progress) without medications. Beyond the IEP, is he getting behavioral therapy, natural treatments, The Explosive Child or other parenting strategies, other interventions, etc?
Violence is nothing to mess around with because it can easily become a child's habitual way of dealing with frustration. Do you have a plan in place for when violence escalates to the danger point?
I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. That can be hard to combat in itself on top of having to deal with a child like ours.
You've gotten some good advice. I would make one more suggestion. Lock your door at night. Do the old beer bottle on top the door knob trick to see if he's trying to get into your room. You have a right to sleep, you have a right to set your alarm, you have a right to some adult time.
Feelinalone, do you feel confident that the diagnosis given to your son is accurate? Have you ruled out all other medical (seizures, for example) and neurological (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), for example) causes before the doctors settled on the Mood Disorder-not otherwise specified diagnosis?
I have two kids who have Mood Disorder-not otherwise specified dxes. They have been in therapy for quite a while. They get help in school. They have two very proactive and supportive parents. We didn't choose to use medications until J was 9 and A was 10. And we didn't make the medication decision easily. But they reached a point where they just weren't functioning, either at home or at school. We never wanted to use medications, but now we're very glad we did. Our kids now have a chance at a somewhat "normal" childhood and adolescence.
Unfortunately, if the diagnosis is accurate, you may reach this point as well. I'm not saying you have to do it before trying other interventions available. I am saying that you may have to be open to medications at some point, especially if things really spin out of control.
I wish you luck in whatever path you choose.
Thats interesting smallworld..........I was just about to post the same thing. Especially after reading Dara's post about little Sammy possibly having seizures.
FeelingAlone I second all smallworld said. At the very least your difficult child needs to have a thorough work up by a neurologist to rule out seizures - and a psychologist who does a full battery of tests to rule out Autism or Aspergers. Or you can also see a neuropsychologist who will do both.
Your son can live a life without violence being part of it everyday..........do not give up that vision or hope! It will happen! However, you might need to knock down some doors to get the right diagnosis, the right therapy, and right levels of intervention for him. Keep fighting the good fight - and don't ever compromise!
This level of violence in your house, long term, will cause permanent psychological damage for both of you.
PS - One analogy that helped me a lot with my son's need for medications, was the analogy of my son's illness to a diabetic.
My son has a chemical brain imbalance, to deprive him of the correct chemicals to keep his brain stable, is just like depriving a diabetic of insulin.
I fully respect your desire to have your son off medications. Our natural treatments forum has some great ideas/advice/suggestions to help with this. It is wonderful that you have such deep faith. Do you attend a church, and could anyone there be helpful?
Whether he reacts to the police or not, you simply MUST keep calling them. Put that cop in his place, it is his job to help, NOT to judge you or give you a hard time.
Maybe there are some church based services that would help? I know I found a lot of help by calling my pastor, then he recommended someone/someplace and I called them. Then theyrecommended, and so on.
You also should go to the Domestic Violence Shelter. They can help. Services are free, and they will have people to help your son with this feeling that he needs to be "the man of the house".
Sending lots of hugs,
YES. Any violence in the home is domestic violence. You are a battered woman right now. Regardless of the fact that your son is battering you, you are STILL being battered and are in need of help.
I got a LOT of support from our DV resources. I didn't go to the shelter, but I had counselling, we are getting an appointment for my daughter (difficult child beat her, tried to kill her, MANY times before she told us about it!) to help her with the PTSD. They also have parenting classes, funds to help you in the financial situation, etc.....
It really is a good resource. And a child battering a parent is domestic violence. Period.
I am sorry. I know what it feels like to be battered. Even if it your child, you end up with a LOT of problems. Your faith will help support you, but the DV will also help.
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