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Substance Abuse
difficult child called for advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 503275" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>What a change Kathy. The fact that she is calling you for advice is a huge step forward. I had to laugh at her response about how some AA/NA meetings saying not to get into a relationship for a year and some do not. It's not the AA meetings that say that, it's the recovery world, the rehab counselors, those that understand how you are not ready for a relationship until you put your own house in order. But just like I said previously, that doesn't work for our difficult children who need the attention of men to feel good. I wish it wasn't so but it is for mine anyway. In rehab she was told to stay away from all men for at least a year and she paid lip service to that only to take every opportunity she could to find a guy. I have long given up on that argument with her and just hope that she gets tired of them before the relationship causes any real harm. </p><p></p><p>I think you gave her good advice about not jumping into anything with this guy and being wary of the fact that he is buying her gifts so soon, that does present big red flags. difficult child has met several gys who wanted her to move in with them a couple weeks after meeting them, That's insane, she was ready tomove in with a guy she had met a week previously, until he punched her in the stomach because she was drunk and talkign to another guy. He told me that he now owned my difficult child and my husband had to call him and remind him that he just admitted to a felony and since husband was an attorney we would be seeing him in court shortly.</p><p></p><p>I have had to learn to try and take a back seat when it comes to difficult child and guys and have a conversation with her instead of preaching to her. I think you did a wonderful job explaining your concerns and meeting her part way by agreeing to meet this boyfriend that you really don't like. It wouldl bevery hard for me to do that but I would rather he know she has a family that loves and supports her so he doesn't think he can do whatever he wants and you won't care.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child is making progress every day. Hopefully yours and mine will some day realize they are strong enough to make it without some loser guy in the picture.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 503275, member: 59"] What a change Kathy. The fact that she is calling you for advice is a huge step forward. I had to laugh at her response about how some AA/NA meetings saying not to get into a relationship for a year and some do not. It's not the AA meetings that say that, it's the recovery world, the rehab counselors, those that understand how you are not ready for a relationship until you put your own house in order. But just like I said previously, that doesn't work for our difficult children who need the attention of men to feel good. I wish it wasn't so but it is for mine anyway. In rehab she was told to stay away from all men for at least a year and she paid lip service to that only to take every opportunity she could to find a guy. I have long given up on that argument with her and just hope that she gets tired of them before the relationship causes any real harm. I think you gave her good advice about not jumping into anything with this guy and being wary of the fact that he is buying her gifts so soon, that does present big red flags. difficult child has met several gys who wanted her to move in with them a couple weeks after meeting them, That's insane, she was ready tomove in with a guy she had met a week previously, until he punched her in the stomach because she was drunk and talkign to another guy. He told me that he now owned my difficult child and my husband had to call him and remind him that he just admitted to a felony and since husband was an attorney we would be seeing him in court shortly. I have had to learn to try and take a back seat when it comes to difficult child and guys and have a conversation with her instead of preaching to her. I think you did a wonderful job explaining your concerns and meeting her part way by agreeing to meet this boyfriend that you really don't like. It wouldl bevery hard for me to do that but I would rather he know she has a family that loves and supports her so he doesn't think he can do whatever he wants and you won't care. Your difficult child is making progress every day. Hopefully yours and mine will some day realize they are strong enough to make it without some loser guy in the picture. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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